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Mental health

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Original poster

NY resolution - Anyone want to "clean up" their mental health?

17 replies

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 25/12/2018 23:12

Anyone care to join me?

I have a massive phobia about anything gynae related due to previous assault in a clinical setting. I had twins earlier this year and the hospital were dead set on me having a super medicalised birth. I fought and fought and got the birth I wanted but have felt really up and down about it since, replaying scenes and arguments with medical staff at best and planning suicide at worst, when the intrusive thoughts get too much.

I have come to think that actually I could take care of a lot of this myself if I just took care of myself a bit more in MH terms.

I mean, physically I eat well, go to the gym, do my pelvic floors limit alcohol... I do these things habitually. But I don't have any similar MH good habits.

Anyone up for sorting out low level MH issues in 2019??

OP posts:

noego · 26/12/2018 13:55

qumquat · 27/12/2018 08:39

Yes definitely! I just feel in despair this morning. Eating disorder insomnia depression anxiety OCD all work together in a spiral and I can't untangle them. Trying to follow a mindfulness course but constant bingeing and no sleep mean I'm on my knees.

Original poster

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 29/12/2018 23:27

That sounds very hard qumquat.

So, I'm kind of inspired by the idea of doing a few small changes, nothing too ambitious at first but just little things that could make a difference.

What good habits can we start? Consistent bedtime? Writing down one positive thing before bed? Any other ideas?

OP posts:

Kumali · 30/12/2018 06:33

Yes I'd like to join. I'm anxious anyway and if you've seen my recent threads this has sent me through the roof. I know I need to work on it. I'm thinking regular exercise. I have a friend who swears that running literally saved her life....

MHsupport · 30/12/2018 09:33

I’d like to join too please. Exercise is on my list. There’s also a thread about diet where kefir gets a mention, I think I’m going to try that as have heard good things about it generally.

YY to gratitude journal too. Good luck everyone, we can do this

noego · 30/12/2018 09:55

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

Learn to live this way.

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is a good book to read to help you discover and achieve this.

SilverBirchTree · 30/12/2018 13:47

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff OP, please see a GP and a psychologist if you have been contemplating suicide.

You've been through something traumatic and you deserve high quality professional support. It shouldn't be left to you to try to fix it by journaling or changing your bedtime. Those are great, but not enough.

Please prioritise yourself and take this seriously.

Original poster

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 30/12/2018 22:02

SilverBirch thanks but tbh I tried disclosing during pregnancy and it didn't really work out. I assumed there would be help, there wasn't. The consultant did a kind 'concerned head tilt' thing and wrote a very vaguely worded letter to my gp and that was it. I am not actively suicidal now and aiming to move away from that type of thinking.

Anyhows, I have spent a lot of time in 2018 sorting out my diet and it definitely helped. I am also trying to tidy the house and I will start writing one positive thing down every day.

Does anyone have any BAD habits that need to go? Mine is deliberately "triggering" myself by reading Childbirth threads. Why??? I know I will end in tears. Does anyone else do stupid sabotagey things like that?

OP posts:

Sillysofty · 31/12/2018 09:30

I'd like to join please! I'm a mum of "children" who've left home over the last few years (for uni and careers elsewhere) and I've been on ADs for a year for anxiety - successful up to now, but seeing them over Christmas has left me feeling a bit down now that they've gone. I know that my sleep and eating patterns are terrible and would really welcome a MH clean-up (not to mention a house declutter! )
I know what you mean, JMcGSFO, about feeling you have to read stuff that is a trigger. It could be from a desire to know that others have had similar experiences?
Anyway, Happy New Year for tomorrow, and here's to a happier January for a start.

qumquat · 01/01/2019 08:42

Feeling at my lowest this morning.

qumquat · 01/01/2019 08:44

Before the new year I think everything is possible then it comes and I'm the same total shitshow I was the year before. My resolution was to do yoga as it does help. But binged already this morning so I feel to sick. I hope others have had a better start to the year

qumquat · 01/01/2019 08:57

So, good habits to start: I've been following the 'Mindful Way Workbook' which has been useful. There's a short meditation technique called the 'three minute breathing space's which is calming. I'm going to try and do that every time I go to the toilet.

I'm also doing a yoga with Adrienne video every day.

Im trying to think that even if these have no impact on my wider life they will improve 5 minutes of it and that's better than the alternative.

(I agree Johnny going to the GP about feeling suicidal wasn't in the least bit helpful for me.)

Rayn · 01/01/2019 09:13

One thing that has really helped my MH is reading self help books and research on the internet.
However I have to do it regularly as if not I go straight back to square one.
Works for me

qumquat · 01/01/2019 10:20

What books have you found useful? My new years resolution was going to be to get rid of all my self help books (I must have about 50) as they just create clutter and I'm just as miserable as I was before I bought the first one about 30 years ago!

Original poster

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 02/01/2019 09:42

Qumquat

You know what? I think a lot of the problem with NY resolutions is that if you fuck up once you think oh, that's it, I've torn it out.

Whereas these are lifestyle changes we are making.

You would not expect to start to learn to drive and never stall, or start playing the violin and never play a screechy note.

We are practising different stuff here to improve our MH. If your medititation thing goes well great if not, you can try sth else. Also the first time you do the med'n it will probably not go great, you'll probably get distracted as you're out of practice. But that's.okay because every time you practise it will get better

As for me, I firstly need to stop reading threads about abuse in childbirth, etc. Had a horrible medical nightmare last night and still feel a bit ick this morning.

OP posts:

Original poster

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 06/01/2019 20:35

Hi all, how is everyone?

Randomly, I saw the consultant who was so difficult in my pregnancy and who really upset me when I was at a NT property today. We both did an "oh God it's you" nervous smile thing at each other. Trying not to think about the whole thing anymore.

How is the yoga and writing stuff down going?

OP posts:

qumquat · 07/01/2019 06:22

Hi I'm doing ok with the yoga. I hope that chance encounter didn't upset you too much! I'm caught up in an endless thought loop about whether I should split with dp or not and going mad with it. Been awake since 4 and I have a 13 hour day at work today. Just so sick of being me!

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