Please someone help.. Major psychotic episode

[Kumali]

BF has been section 2'd. He's majorly delusional and his usual self has vanished totally. I'm in pieces. We'd planned all xmas, future.. What happens now?? I miss him so much. I feel like I can't carry on. Will it be the end for us?? Will he "come back"? Please someone talk to me.

I am vulnerable. I know that. No family, just thought I'd found someone to care for us.. I know that sounds pathetic

I've had psychosis a couple of times and have been stable for 5 years now following a bipolar diagnosis and a change in meds.

Please be aware that he will probably develop post psychotic depression after this which will bring other problems with it.

Whilst I have enormous sympathy for him, I'm afraid I agree with Wonkysack.

It doesn’t sound pathetic at all. It’s what we all want kumali. He may still be the man for you, he may not but his illness does complicate things unfortunately. You don’t have to make any decisions at the moment.

I know. It just feels so unfair

Have a lovely day op with your kids xx

We are.. Chocolate and a film...

What were his delusions?

Being watched, hacked, invaded by spirits..

Hey @Kumali

Whist you DP is in hospital is a good time to take care of yourself and your children. I do not necessarily agree with walking away from someone who has MH symptoms. My First Husband did this to me to my devastation so perhaps I am not the best person to comment on this aspect.

What you can do right now is take time for yourself and your children. If Mind were not helpful have you tried calling the Samaritans? In my experience the Sams are excellent at caring for the carers; Mind provide information but my experience of Mind is that they are rather textbook and life is not textbook.

You can ask the hospital if they have resources for carers. They may but do be careful of the commitments you make to your partner's ongoing care in the future if you plan to leave him, IYSWIM. Do you and he live together?

Hi PP. No we don't live together. It's really tough. Than you for your POV. I have so many.. possibly stupid questions.. I can't get my head round walking away. I can't cope with the thought of what the illness may mean for us either.. I'm just all over the place..

Ask the questions here OP X

Thanks. I feel stupid as though I've invested too much too early.. and am being told to walk away ASAP. But Im finding it hard to think that way.
So.. Will he know who I am?
Be the person I knew?
Need care I can't commit to?
Always be unstable?
These are the things I'm worrying over..

Well I understand why you've invested, you sound vulnerable and we all want to be loved.
You don't have to walk away but you do need to slow the pace until you know each other within the context of him having a serious mental illness. Also, this means your children need some distance.
He won't always be unstable, if he complies with treatment. I'm on lifelong treatment, I'm fine though a bit flat, because the meds make me like that. I don't need any special care, I can look after my kids and work full time etc. I'm not unstable.
Psychosis isn't a personality defect it's an illness like any other. Medication works very well though sometimes takes time to find the right one.
You will be fine whatever happens. Just take a day at a time. x

And in the meantime perhaps get some counselling to work on your own self esteem? It will help in the long run x

Thank you 70sbaubles. It's affected me horribly, think I need some serious help as well.

@Kumali It is quite probable that you do. Carers can get a sort of PTSD when their loved ones develop psychosis. You could ask the care team where your DP is for some dedicated support or seek some yourself via your GP or an organisation like Carers UK or Bipolar UK.

OP I am so sorry you have had to witness this breakdown, and go through this yourself.

I will be honest, I know very little about bipolar, and also everyone is different, but thought I might be able to add something to the conversation.

I am currently in hospital on a section 3 after relapsing with my schizophrenia due to not taking medication. It is actually my fourth psych admission this year, all due to meds.

I was apparently very unwell when admitted, in quite a similar way to your BF. I hope this isn't TMI (please report my post if it is), but I thought Satan was trying to rape me to impregnate me with his child who was going to destroy the world and then I would rule hell with Satan. So I put razor blades and a hypodermic needle in my vagina, and safety pinned my labia together to stop him. I also had auditory, visual, and somatic hallucinations of Satan and demons. Stopped eating for a couple of weeks, and tried to stop drinking too, so that he wouldn't hurt my DN. Anyways, so I was quite out of it, although I did recognise people etc. I have had these same experiences before/during each hospitalisation this year (and previously). Each time they say I don't have capacity and then section me, operate on me when I beg them not to, and give me fluids.

BUT I am really high functioning and get better really quickly (I am fine now and going on leave tomorrow). I just need medication and then I am perfectly well. I am top of my class at university (maths degree), have friends and live alone.

When I am off meds I am a different person, and pretty scary to be around apparently. Do you know what made your BF relapse? If it is medication then there are things they can do to make him stay on it. I am normally on a depot (where you get your medication injected fortnightly/monthly) so they don't have to rely on my taking oral, and am also going to be back on a CTO (community treatment order - like a community section) so that they can readmit me and forcibly inject me if I refuse my depot in the community. This could be an option for your BF if he is refusing to take meds reliably (or forgets even). A lot of the depots that work for schiz also work for bipolar.

Also, you are not responsible for giving him care. You have to put your children and yourself first, especially at these early stages of the relationship. I personally am very independent and feel really embarrassed at my family and friends being involved in my treatment (think police looking for me, doctors phoning to tell them I'm having surgery, and what for etc.). I am quite mortified and would rather they knew nothing about it. He may well be the same. He might be really embarrassed when he comes round.

My family are used to it after 20 years of me being ill, but still find it very distressing, so it must be really hard for you, so you need to get help. The ward should be able to give you carers info, and some places have carers support groups.

So to answer your questions more succinctly: yes, I imagine he will be back to his usual self before too long, especially if this has happened before and he has been fine again before (although I appreciate what others have said that you may have known him in a manic phase only - as I say, I have no experience of bipolar). He may well be very well managed on medication, as long as someone can ensure that he takes it reliably, in whatever form that takes. And he shouldn't need too much care and if he does, then that should come from mental health services (although they are notoriously bad). If he is sectioned I think they have to put him on a 117 which means they have to provide aftercare (although not actually sure that applies with a section 2 - but he'll probably be put on a 3 soon).

I hope you are okay. If this is too much for you then I would consider leaving him. It sounds awful but I know I would hate someone just putting up with me because they felt it was wrong to leave me because I was ill. Not saying that's what you are doing. I understand you love him, but it all sounds very intense. If this relationship is damaging you, then you need to take a step back. Maybe reassess the situation once he has been stable for a year or whatever.

Hope that helps

Thank you pp for your brave and candid response. He has come round a bit now..but I'm still struggling to get my head round it. I guess I'll just have to wait and see really. What you said regarding family strikes a chord.. He's pushed them away and says he doesn't trust them..

Waiting and seeing could be a good option as long as that is okay for you.

Trusting others can be affected by psychosis and the whole picture can become complicated because his story might become unreliable but there might be some truths within it IYSWIM? So if there are issues in his existing relationships they could get magnified. It’s so difficult for you, do take care of yourself and your children particularly

Witnessing psychosis is scary, my dd had her first full blown episode this year and it left me shaking for days (though as there were no beds I was left caring for her 24/7 on suicide watch at home with just two phone calls a day from her hospital mental health team). Do get support from a local carers group as well as specialist resources online, my gp also provided good support, phoning me to check how things were with me as well as her.

It does pass though, often quickly but it puts you on edge for when it will happen again - only you know if you can cope with this. I have no choice, she's my dd, think what is best for you.

@anniehm

This sounds really tough for you Kumali. I just wanted to say that you don't need to make any forever decisions now - take time to look after yourself and see what happens with you bf, how we responds to treatment, how his MH is maintained in the longer term etc. I have mental health issues, it is a constant battle to stay well which in itself is exhausting even before the dealing with episodes. Having said that, I do have children and work etc and am able to lead a decent life, though it always feels very fragile and took me a lot of years to learn how to look after myself. How old is he, and how long has he been dealing with bi polar? It can take a long time to find the right combination of things that work for you.
Also, I know you said that Mind were not very helpful but was that the national organisation? There are local Minds across the country (affiliated to the national charity but independent charities in their own right) who might be more helpful, you are probably more likely to talk to an actual human who will have local information there.

He's in his late 40s and has had it for about 10 years. The place he's in is awful, dirty and there seems nothing to do but watch TV.

He's in his late 40s and has had it for about 10 years.

I think in this case it’s worth finding out a bit more, does he have a history of managing well or does he have a string of failed relationships and frequent episodes behind him, did something trigger this episode and if so is the trigger likely to trigger another, that sort of thing.

The place he's in is awful, dirty and there seems nothing to do but watch TV.

Yes this sounds familiar. NHS psych wards are like this. It’s horrific. The environment is counter-therapeutic often. Depending on the situation you could take stuff for him if you felt up to it but it sort of depends on you and what you want to do, how involved you want to be, and so on.

I have been to see him. He appears much better now but it sounds like a tough illness to control. Meds kick in, people feel better, stop taking it and back to square one. He says the episode was him "joking" but I'm assuming that's part of the illness too... denial.