Any advice on how to cope with work when depressed

[startrekk]

I'm a social worker. Obviously a stressful job and unfortunately I have a critical boss who accuses me of being incompetent and just generally makes me feel awful.

I have applied for another job so fingers crossed I can leave but I do feel like my depression has affected my job performance. Prior to developing depression I was bubbly, motivated and generally the laugh of the office and got my work done speedily.

Now, while I have a laugh with colleagues and get on with my work everything seems to have slowed down. It's hard to explain but my memory is not as good, I have less motivation, I am more tired, in moment where I feel very down I almost feel like I can't even work. I find change harder and find I'm less motivated to help others out as it's hard enough coping with my own work.

My boss does not know I have depression and judging from previous colleagues it won't help to inform her as sadly she is a rather nasty individual.

I know it is likely I will find another job soon but with my struggles I am worried I will only find myself under performing in any new role.

I am on 100mg sertraline but it's not working that well. It takes the hopeless feeling away but my sadness has remained quite a bit. It also makes me feel numb and like I'm in a bubble. I've spoken to my gp and he doesn't want to change me to a different anti depressant just yet.

Is anyone here depressed and working? How do you cope? I sometimes wonder if I should call it quits and go on benefits but I have worked hard for my qualification and have bills to pay.

It is so hard. Time off doesn't help in my own experience. It only makes it harder to go back. If you are looking for something else though it might be worth getting signed off for a few weeks during your notice period.

I've played AD roulette so know how you feel there. GP is right in that you have to give them a chance but if they aren't working then do press them to let you try something else. I didn't get to try the AD that was effective for me until I sat and cried my eyes out at the psychiatrist and begged him not to give me any more SSRIs.

You just have to ride it out really.

At the moment I am working full time but cant afford to work part time and I am really struggling. If I changed to part time are there any benefits I would be entitled to?

I don't think so no. I work part time as I can't cope with full time but they consider that a choice so you don't get help. You can apply for PIP but I don't think you'd get it.

@startrekk
Your post is so eloquently written, you are not alone in how you feel. I moved to part-time to be able to cope but now I have money worries ☹️