My boyfriend has gone away to help a friend whose wife has been admitted to hospital due to her mental health. The situation is awful which is why he's gone to support them. But hearing about what she is going through has triggered me as there are many similarities with my past. I broke down the day he left and since then I've been coping less and less well. I went to the GP and was given anti anxiety medication on top of my usual antidepressants. But now that the anxiety is marginally better, the depression is feeling much, much worse. I feel like I can't do this. My boyfriend is a great support, but I can't go to him for support now, and I'm having to try to keep it all together because it's nearly Christmas and I don't want to ruin it, and I can't let on to my boyfriend because I don't want him to worry about me. But I do wish I could speak to him. Of course I know I can't though. He has enough going on. I'm really not ok. I don't know how to get through this. For now I have to keep going for my DC, but then they'll go to their dad for a few days at Christmas and I'm worried what I'll do when it's just me and I can properly fall apart. How far might I fall? I'm scared.