How to parent with depression or similar

[DocusDiplo]

I feel like I am letting my kids down.
This is hard to write. I only have mild depression. Sometimes I cry. My DD(9) says I am always sad and so she cannot be happy. She is quite sensitive. I feel terrible i brought them into the world. They do not deserve to be infected with my bleakness. I am not always sad but I guess it is like a cloud over our house. How do I deal with it? We are not severe enough for service etc . How do other people with depression cope? Do they carry guilt too? Its not a permanent state of being for me. Just waves... I am struggling.

I don’t let my child see me sad or cry. If I feel absolutely terrible then I have a lie down because of a ‘headache’, the short break really helps.

I believe in faking it in front of children, they are not emotionally mature enough to handle a parent being sad all the time, the stress and anxiety it causes them is not fair and I believe is damaging.

What steps are you taking to recover? Meds, therapy, self help books etc?

I don't have depression but my DS has seen me cry quite often and to me that seems okay because crying is a natural mechanism which aids healing. The body gets rid of a build up of toxic stress hormones through the flow of tears.

So I would emphasise to your DD that crying is natural and actually helpful and nothing to fear or be ashamed about, whether it's you that's crying or her.

You are right. Feeling down is not a permanent state and you can remind your DD - and yourself - of this. You are not always sad. The feelings pass in time.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

don't have depression but my DS has seen me cry quite often and to me that seems okay because crying is a natural mechanism which aids healing

Crying so often that your child says you are sad all the time is not healthy for the suffer or the child.
It’s completely different to your child catching you having the a cry rarely.

Do you have support op?