Anyone else diagnosed with BPD?

[BlitheringIdiot]

Hi. I recently got a referral for an assessment for ADHD. (The assessment itself was done by a GP apparently undergoing training who then conferred with a Psychiatrist.)

She told me, more or less informally, that she thought it most likely I had BPD. I'm struggling a bit with the news, especially as I've only ever heard awful things about people with BPD. My other half says that when he looked it up himself, the advice was overwhelmingly that he should run for the hills.

I have two small children and now I feel so guilty for having had them, if I am just going to mess them up.

Apparently I have been referred for occupational health or something. I've had a fair bit of counselling for depression but honestly feel it becomes a bit repetitive and counterproductive...

Positive outcome stories would be very welcome, if you have any. Struggling to see a workable future. :(
(Apologies for dramatics)

I was diagnosed last month. It’s helped me to make sense of how I’m feeling. On the waitlist for MBT now.

Thank you PinkAndPurple. Do you mind me asking what the biggest issues you feel you have that the diagnosis helped to make sense of?

My changeable mood, inability to focus and low tolerance for noise.

I believe that many autistic women are incorrectly diagnosed with BPD as so many assessors do not understand how autism presents differently in females.

I have no idea if you are autistic, or have BPD, but if you feel your diagnosis is not correct, you could do a bit of research into females on autistic spectrum.

There’s an unofficial but helpful (I think) list here the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/

i agree that there's a lot of cross-diagnosing going on between personality disorders/the autistic spectrum/bipolar disorder, depending on how you present and whether or not there's childhood trauma and various other factors. My brother is diagnosed with BPD and I have been informally told that I have ASD (no pathway for official diagnosis for adults in my area, but several doctors have said they think it's very likely, including the consultant who diagnosed my son with Asperger's)

My brother with the BPD diagnosis struggles with emotional regulation and anger management and is a very complex person who can be difficult to get on with. He's also loving, loyal, generous, frighteningly intelligent and creative and I can't imagine my life or my children's without him.

I think BPD is one of those diagnoses that really hits people where it hurts. it's traditionally quite stigmatised and misunderstood, and I personally think it needs to be redefined and definitely renamed. It isn't a synonym for "awful person", not at all.

I think it has been renamed ‘Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder’ (EUPD), Greensleeves

Watching with interest, I posted about this the other day. Have you had a diagnosis?

I think that's even worse @FissionChips . I find the whole "personality disorder" label deeply unhelpful.

Hmmm I would want to see a specialist before agreeing with the diagnosis. There is a lot of crossover from ADHD and bpd but a lot of differences too.

Just to complicate matters , there is also a lot of crossover between ADHD and ASD, as well as ASD and BPD.

The thing with personality disorders is that a lot of people have some of the criteria for a lot of them - I know I have some of the criteria of BPD but also OCPD. Some psychiatrists diagnose me with a PD, others don't. It's not really black and white. My current psychiatrist told me the other day that the person who came up with the diagnostic criteria for PDs admitted that he picked the number of criteria you need to hit at random because it sounded good. There's no real need for the diagnosis - we all have personalities and therefore we all have elements of PDs. I think it tends to be a lazy label used to dismiss patients so it's not helpful at all. I should also add that as a borderline borderline (so to speak), I'm in a very happy marriage and have been with my husband for 10 years.

I have a diagnosis of BPD (given to me in 2004), though I do wonder whether I actually have ASD, given what I have recovered from and what I continue to struggle with (I also have obsessive interests, sometimes struggle with understanding non-literal meanings, find it hard to follow spoken instructions and various other things. Looking back at my childhood I think I presented a lot like a girl with ASD but it wasn't really recognised in girls in the 80s/early 90s). It was also mooted as a possibility by one psychiatrist I met.

Things I use to struggle with:
Eating disorder
Substance abuse
Self harm
Suicidal thoughts/plans (sometimes I do think it would be better for almost everyone if I wasn't here, but I wouldn't end it anytime soon as my children need me)
Holding down a job (I am now a SAHM. I used to be off sick a lot, not able to cope with full time work)
Debilitating periods of depression where I would just cry and sleep 24/7
Uncontrollable angry impulses

Things I still struggle with:
Feeling like a real person - it's hard to explain this but I feel like I'm fooling people if they think I'm a person like anyone else, I feel like a different (inferior) species
Fitting into any sort of group (always feel like everyone else would rather I wasn't there)
Friendships - in all kinds of ways. People usually get fed up of me after a while and I sometimes push them away before that can happen or just keep them at a distance
Low self-esteem
Black and white thinking
Sleep issues

(Like a PP I have a DH and have been with him since 2002. I manage that relationship fine, he's the only person I feel 100% safe with.)

I am so grateful for these replies- thank you all. Sorry I haven't been able to reply before- one of those mad days. I can relate to a lot of the things people have said. Interestingly I have researched ASD, but more because I think my sister and at least one of my nephews has it. I did do an online questionnaire at the time and did score quite highly, but then I kind of dismissed it.

I really relate to not feeling like a real person. And I think that now I have kids and a relationship, whatever it is about me that makes life extra tricky is harder to manage: no proper sleep or down time.

Can I ask what folk find helpful to manage to keep on a productive, even keel? I just can't seem to keep on top of things and find myself getting overwhelmed. Books? I love how they look on my shelves...

PS I am having to write on my phone which is a bit discombobulating so sorry if I miss stuff- like I find it v hard to memorise names and o can't check while writing.... gah.

Ok, I wanted to say to Greensleeves also, thank you so much: I was really touched by what you said about your brother. I do feel a bit like it's a diagnosis of being an awful person.

Autistichedgehog, thanks for that list. So many things on those lists definitely would apply to me. Is it possible to be a bit of a pick and mix? I am conscious of the fact that I'm a way I would 'rather' have ASD than BPD and I don't want to be an arse about it.

Having said that, I was particularly low the day I went (days of little sleep plus family shit) so when she asked me about childhood stuff she got the lot. I don't really have much of a filter: and it was very dysfunctional so I can see exactly why, in combination with one parent having bipolar, she went for the diagnosis she did (yes, emotionally unstable etc but BPD is more commonly used and easier to type...!)

Sorry, rambling.

Gah. Damn you autocorrect.
*in a way not I'm a way or whatever it put.

Hi OP I got diagnosed this year. I think it’s a bit of a catch all diagnosis TBH; I don’t meet all the criteria but as I’ve had a shit life and got depressed on anti depressants, past issues of SH and eating disorders I got given that label. But I don’t have any unusual problems with relationships or anger, both of which are supposedly major things for BPD. I’ve had long term steady relationships, and I have a network of friends most of whom I’ve had for a very long time eg over 25 years!

So although there are people with BPD for whom relationships could be fraught, I don’t think it’s a given by any means. When I was diagnosed it did make me question myself though; was I really this unpredictable emotional whirlwind and was I damaging my children? Sounds like you have similar thoughts.

I’ve just finished a group where most ppl had BPD. Most of them were in long term relationships, and I never would have guessed they had BPD if we weren’t all in a group together.

Hello,
The only people that can diagnose you are Psychiatrist or Clinical Psychologist. GPs don't have the expertise. Up to 90% of people with BPD have suffered some form of childhood abuse and there is even a debate if BPD is more like a complex PTSD as symptomatology greatly overlap. BPD is not a life sentence and the more you learn about it, the more you will find ways to mange it.
Many psychologists disputed the labelling and the DSM (diagnostic and statistic manual) has received a lot of criticism over "putting people in boxes". There are some good books out there, but more importantly a referral to mental health team seems like the first step. As others have pointed out diagnosing personality disorders is challenging for the experienced psychiatrists, never mind a GP. Don't let a label define you. You and your life experiences are unique and from time to time who doesn't feel emotionally unstable? Life can be hard and we all cope differently. Be kind to yourself. What has really helped me (I have been diagnosed with BPD, PTSD, depression etc, etc) is to be kind to myself and others. Look up Metta Bhavana - Buddhist meditations that teaches compassion. Despite my diagnoses I have successfully completed a BSc (Physiology) and just finishing my MSc (Psychology) and perhaps it was my BPD and PTSD that pushed me to find answers and not accept labels for the sake of it. Now expecting my first baby.

I have bpd. I find the label unhelpful as people think those with bpd are manipulative and you should run a mile. I'm no more manipulative than anyone else. At the moment I'm quite unwell and my medication is being altered a lot. My dissociative episodes are bad and extremely distressing and I'm very depressed. Luckily my psychiatrist is working well with me so I don't have to go to hospital.

I have recently been diagnosed. It was a horrible shock and has made me feel like a bad person.

I agree with the pp that the new label of emotionally unstable personality disorder is worse than bpd. However i can see why that applies to me. I dont process emotions well. I have severe anxiety.

What does bpd even mean though? Borderline of having a personality? Borderline of having a disorder? Borderline of being unwell? Not quite mental not quite sane?

I started off with the Diagnosis of BPD or EUPD. It never fitted properly. I often feel people with BPD are given the diagnosis because they don't fit an exact box.

I do struggle with my emotions, I am seen as impulsive and I have exprienced trauma. However, I got second opinion and was eventually diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder because I had heaps of other symptoms alongside the few my care co and her team focused on.