Feeling dreadful after works night out

[emmskie03]

I've suffered from depression and anxiety since my teens but it's been pretty well controlled lately - or so I thought. Historically I've been known to get a bit hyper and there were some discussions about bipolar.

Went out on the works night out and got hideously drunk. I don't usually make poor choices like this. If anything I went a bit hyper. I'm now a mess. I've not been sleeping well for weeks and in hindsight, I've been pretty anxious for a while. I just thought if I ignored it is be ok but clearly I'm not.

Antidepressants have never done anything good for me and I just don't know what to do next. I'm terrified about going back onto work but even more scared that I've ruin3d the fairly even keel I was on. I've got a history of self harming - which I've not done since having children but I can't see an end to this.

Works dos are the devil's work. In my experience when you are anxious you are far more likely to drink too much. The saving grace is that loads of people get too drunk on works do so don't beat yourself up. No one else will. The downside is the after-effects of alcohol are making you feel worse. Take this as day 1. Who can you talk to? Are you seeing a health professional? For today give yourself one tiny goal, eg a 20 min walk in the fresh air. Good luck. Hope you feel better soon

Thanks confusedbeetle. I used to see a counsellor but dropped it because of money but also because I just didn't want to delve into the hard stuff. I've felt good but in hindsight I'm thinking I might have to go there. Earlier in the year I burst into tears on holiday after reading the news that Bill Crosby had been found guilty of sexual assault (I was sexually assaulted when I was younger). My reaction came from nowhere, I was as surprised as my husband and in hindsight, I'm realising that I can't just busy stuff and now I feel like it's all out of the box again and I can't work out whether to just shove it all back in or whether I'll make things worse if I try picking through it!