I'm really struggling at the moment. I always do at this time of year. I hate the dark nights and I don't think I've actually seen the sun in weeks. It just keeps getting darker, and colder and wetter and there's no end to it.
We have a fairly major maintenance issue going on with the house - leaking roof - which can only be fixed when the weather improves. Every time it rains we have water coming in which is causing me huge amounts of stress. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach about it. It's the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. I just can't see how I'm going to cope with the next potentially 4 to 6 weeks until the builder can replace the roof. (We have the money to replace it, that's not a worry. It's the actual leak and the fact I can't remedy it now.)
I take no pleasure in Christmas, if it wasn't for the kids i'd happily ignore the whole thing. I just can't wait for it all to be over.
I've been depressed before in my late teens when I found it incredibly hard to adjust to life at Uni and cried every day for three months. It was awful. I can feel the same feelings coming back again. DH doesn't really "get" how I'm feeling. He is very matter of fact about things and just keeps reiterating that the roof will be fixed as soon as it can be and nobody's died. And he's right - other people have much worse things happening and I feel silly for feeling so awful.
Just venting really. Need to get through the next few weeks and then hopefully I'll start feeling better.