Tears after baby.....

[Alicat1980]

Hi All. This is my first time posting on here and I'm hoping there are some of you out there who have felt or are feeling how I do right now.

Our baby boy is 10 days old today and we came home from hospital when he was just 2 days old after he arrived early and by c section. From the moment my waters broke, my husband has been there every step of the way and has become like my security blanket. I'm now counting down the last few days until he has to go back to work on Monday and it's more scary than I can explain! He has been popping out here and there and giving me time with baby on my own and everything has been absolutely fine but the thought of him being out at work all day reduces me to tears. My hormones just seem to be all over the place and the only person I want to rely on is my husband..... Is this normal and will it get easier? My husband is an absolute rock and reassures me every day that it's going to be fine but the thought of him not being there just seems too much....

Any advice or just to know I'm not the only one who feels/has felt like this would be great. A x

I think lots of women feel like this. It is really daunting the first time you're in sole charge with no readily available back up. But in all likelihood it will be fine and you'll be in the swing of it in no time.

It was a long time ago, but I felt like that yes. If you are still feeling like this when you next see the health visitor/midwife could you mention it to her? x

Do you have any friends or family who could pop round, or know any other new mums?

I found days alone with a new baby quite hard, but breaking the day up by having tea with someone really helped. As did always getting out of the house at least once a day, even if only for a walk around the block. Having the TV or radio on can make you feel less cut off from the world.

You'll be fine!

It's so normal! Definitely have a chat with your HV just to get some feelings out there - it will make you feel better. Within a couple of days you and your baby will have such a good routine that you'll dread your husband being home
Make sure you've got plenty of food in (batch cooked meals, ready meals, sandwiches in the fridge) all easy food you can just cook and eat quickly because you'll get caught up in feeding/changing/staring at him that you won't have eaten then you'll be starving. Get your husband to make you up some breakfast/lunch for the fridge

I've seen my health visitor today and she has given me details of the groups available near me and she also saw the tears first hand! My only concern is that due to having the c section, my recovery time is a little longer than I would like and it also means I can't drive for 4-6 weeks so i am a little limited on where i can go and what i can do but i have been getting out for a walk every day so I'm hoping that will increase daily and once I'm back on my feet I fully intend to get out and meet other new mums but uta just that first step of my husband going back to work which I'm finding so daunting x

Hello! Congratulations on your baby. I was completely unprepared for how overwhelming the whole newborn thing would be. (Even though I thought I was REALLY prepared!). Also had an emergency section and recovery was slow. I had terrible anxiety and even thinking back to that time makes me feel anxious.

DH going back to work actually helped in a way, as I had to do things for myself, and helped me find my own daily routine with DD. We very quickly got our own little system going, and then by the time I could drive I actually felt quite confident to go out with her.

I then really started enjoying my maternity leave, and still loving motherhood now (DD is 18 months). Wishing you all the best.

I spent the first few weeks after our DD in tears. I kept reading about baby blues only lasting two weeks and then would panic that I must be suffering with PND because it was going on longer. You’re adjusting to a massive change and having little sleep- it’s normal. I had DS six months ago, exactly two years after DD. If you’d have told me that would happen after DD I’d have laughed at you. Take care, it gets much easier x

I have a 19 day old bubba, I am lucky my partner has an extra week off due to holding on to holiday.

But in similar shoes, and up to day 16 I was very much emotionally hit but mostly miss, feeling hopeless useless convinced my son didn’t like me and crying ... and when I was down I couldn’t remember feeling up. Touch wood last 3 days i have felt like me again or the new me ( aka little sleep / new human to think off )

I think it’s hormones and not sleeping that causes it ( my bubba will not settle at night unless on me by me or partner ) though sleeps in the day like an angel!

I had a trial day yesterday ( as partner had meeting he had to go to ) and I just say it was lovely ... felt more relaxed and even managed a 2 hour nap.

We prepped by breaking the night into shifts before dh slept from 10’pm to 4 am as had work and I grabbed 4 am until 7am when he needed to go to work ( most sleep I have had in ages so happy with that /I lucked out and managed to get him to sleep in crib for an hour and half so managed a 40
Min nap! Also I can sometimes nap in day a bit depending on visitors / household chores ) and the nap set up my day.

I have grab food satsumas / yogurts / sausage rolls ( unhealthy but hey food is food ) cereal otherwise eating can be a challange but I loved it.

The c section part is of course harder ( I was lucky to do it the natural way ) I had a friend who had one ( before I had a child ) and I went and stayed with her a week to help out. Is there anyone that can do similar or pop in for you?
As it’s the lifting / just getting out of the house or sleep for healing that you need.

But you will be better at it than you know it’s sleep
Deprivation / pain and hormones telling you that you can’t do this ... that feeling should pass if it doesn’t tell someone as it could be something more x x I know that right now you can’t see this but it’s true x

I could have written the same thing @2childrenandout. I have a 4 month old lb and spent the first 2 months nearly in tears everyday. The whole thing was massively overwhelming and I remember the first few weeks of my dh going back to work counting down the minutes until he would be home. The first day he went to work when he got in I cried for 2 hours non stop. I hate that you read stuff that says baby blues lasts for a few days and if you are basically still upset any longer than this it is pnd when actually you're hormones are still gong mad, you have got this massive life changing thing that has happened and you are recovering from a pretty major medical procedure and probably thrown in there is a bit of a feeling that you've gone through all this and you're thinking you've made a massive mistake that can't be undone. I also felt an overwhelming concern that I didn't love my baby, my dh was saying he loved him straight away, everyone and everything kind of says you will feel overwhelming love. I didn't, I felt responsible for him but the live came over time. But chuck the guilt of not loving your baby in there as well and it's all very crap. And no one talks about it so you feel utterly alone

Too true @preggersteach. Just to add, I also cried daily for a few weeks after having my 2nd child. But this time realised it was just my hormones. It's hard because you think it will always be like it is now but babies change so quickly. You'll recover from your operation, baby will settle down and not scream and they will become predictable. You'll be able to get out too, this helped me lots. I planned something to do most days. Now I'm sitting here on MN with a coffee while DD is watching Peppa and DS is in the jumperoo. Having 10 mins is great. P.s. you should definitely follow my amazing parenting techniques!!!