A book to advise on recovery *TRIGGER WARNING*

[TheDenIsNigh]

Can anyone recommend books that are useful in helping someone recovering from being raped?
The incident happened 2 years ago.
The NHS won't offer counselling or a psychologists appointment, despite a PTSD diagnosis.

So I'm on my own.

I've tried and I'm trying yoga, meditation, regular exercise and other similar things.

Nothing is having much effect tbh.

Can anyone recommend a book or books that might help?

TIA

I've been in private psychotherapy for three years for complex PTSD (child abuse) as well as several 'bonus' traumas (including a rape in adulthood).

I'm anti the idea of medicalising trauma in the sense that you have to see a psychologist rather than a therapist for sexual abuse.

It's the therapeutic relationship that heals (repeated research shows that) rather than the specific method of treatment.

I would look for an experienced trauma therapist which will cost you significantly less than a clinical psyhchologist and will likely connect you back to the realisation that you are not medically 'batshit' but rather you are suffering because of the harm another human being caused you.

The IAPT referral from my GP was good enough for IAPT to triage me and decide I need to see a psychologist chicky.

The referral to the psychologist came from a psychiatrist I saw, I haven't seen the referral form I didn't realise I would need to until recently but I will request it.

It doesn't matter if my local IAPT do offer EMDR, dance classes or free breaks in The Maldives whatsnewchoochoo, IAPT have said I'm too batshit for them so I can't access their services. I've tried to appeal but it came to nowt.

I'm now wondering if we are in the same area. I managed to get IAPT to refer me, took me 15 minutes to outline why I was there. Person seeing me was an early 20s woman who stopped me (after 15 mins) to say I was too "complex" for their service. She kept looking at my scarred arm too.

I saw a counsellor twice early last year. I then missed an appointment (was having emergency surgery) and they discharged me. I've been pushing them ever since, have full GP support. Been waiting three years (so far) to see a shrink, and the counselling stand off is 20 months now.

If you manage to get a free break in the Maldives, can I come? ;)

I'm now wondering if we are in the same area

I think they're all pretty much like that .

There are some attempts to reclassify borderline personality disorder as something like trauma-related injury, because that's basically what it is.

IAPT generally use a CBT model, even for trauma, which is short-term and solution focused.

The time requirement for the therapy you require probably far outweighs what the overstretched NHS are over to offer.

That doesn't make you batshit.

You aren't.

Your trauma will just take more than 10 sessions to resolve (probably) and that's ok.

Doesn't make you mad, though. Not even close.

I'm in England Simply, with a staunch Tory MP. Your experience sounds so much like mine it's uncanny and of course you can come to the Maldives, it sounds like you could do with it too lass

Gold I have absolutely no strong feelings about what qualifications the therapist helping me has, I just need to access help and it has to be effective. I'm not dismissing any kind of therapy, quite the reverse. I've fallen down a crevasse in MH services and there's no doubt I need some form of talking therapy.

this sounds so typical of mental health services, there's a meme that goes around with a Venn diagram about being "the correct amount of mad" - so please don't blame yourself twitter.com/clinpsy/status/812354245198487556

You should of course receive treatment, there are even NICE guidelines for PTSD and it's just terrible that you have to chase for this publically.

This book is also a good self help book www.somatictraumatherapy.com/8-keys-to-safe-trauma-recovery/ I don't know how much you can afford privately but there are lots of therapists around who are trained in working with trauma and may have done training placements at rape crisis or similar and are not the price of a psychologist.

TheDen if you can afford private psychotherapy I strongly recommend it. Personally I'd look for a UKCP registered therapist, but BACP is also ok. Try to find someone with good experience of working with trauma.

Try a few out until you feel comfortable. Don't let the NHS pathologise you - a reprobate of a human being caused you this damage, you aren't batshit.

* There are lots of therapists around who are trained in working with trauma*

There are also a lot of therapists who say they treat trauma but don't, so look at qualifications and training!

Bold fail there!

..and indeed, don't just ask for training and quals but also for where experience was gained and which approach to trauma they work with. Hence my mentioning they may have done a training placement at a relevant organisation. That's the sort of person to find. Or if you want a counselling or clinical psychologist better that they have had a placement or worked at a traumatic stress service, even many psychs can go through training without one of those.

I remember my counsellor saying my package was 10 sessions of 45 minutes. Didn't get chance to ask what happens after that. In many ways my couple of sessions, then abruptly ending, made things worse. Does anyone know what actually does happen afterwards?

It's a book focused on a range of childhood trauma, but you might want to take a look at "Childhood Disrupted" by Donna Jackson Nazakawa. Caveat being your age when this happened @TheDenIsNigh . Oh, and I'm male, so you'll likely need a bigger suitcase ;)

Thanks 18 yes! That Venn diagram is me and I will look at that book. It's exactly the sort of thing I'm after.

Gold I'm with Everard and 18 there are so many therapists claiming to be experts in trauma but they may have done as little as a short course. I can visit as many as I like to see whether I click with them but I wouldn't know about their knowledge of sexual trauma until I have exposed enough of myself to have a dangerous affect on my mental health. Only then to discover that in fact, they know less about sexual trauma than me and I have made myself vulnerable and present a potential risk to myself.

I've been diagnosed with PTSD for good reason. The symptoms of the trauma I experienced are evident. You may think that HCPs have pathologised me but a diagnosis is necessary to get treatment or not in my case and it has helped me to understand what is going on with me.

I would never describe anyone else as batshit because that could cause offence and I wouldn't want to add to their suffering. OTOH I'm calling myself batshit because if I don't laugh at my own ridiculous situation then I'll cry. You're welcome to call me batshit too, I have a gallows humour about this whole experience. It's not for everyone but it helps to get me through.

To refer back to the origin of this thread I would be grateful for any helpful books or advice to get me through the interim while I find the support I do need.

Or just chat, you can come to the Maldives with me and Steve. All welcome.

I'm sorry Steve, two sessions would have been just enough for you to begin to expose your innermost thoughts and left them with nowhere to go. To my mind that's worse than no help at all. Have you found more help since? I hope so.

I was an adult when I was raped.

Pfft I don't need a huge suitcase. It's all in the planning

"So many therapists claiming to be experts in trauma but they may have done as little as a short course. I can visit as many as I like to see whether I click with them but I wouldn't know about their knowledge of sexual trauma until I have exposed enough of myself to have a dangerous affect on my mental health."

I suggested you find someone experienced in dealing with trauma - not find someone who has been on a course. You don't need to 'expose' yourself in any way at all - you go to a first meeting and ASK them about their experience.

I know a fair bit about PTSD myself, as I'd have thought was obvious from my posts.

I'm sorry but you understanding of trauma therapy seems woeful. You don't 'expose yourself' in two sessions as seems to be your perception.

A skilled, experienced therapist will take things at your pace and that would never involve what you seem to expect it to.

But hey, don't listen to me. Clearly you know more about it that I ever could.

Sorry OP to hijack for a moment.

@Goldagainstthesoldier I've been in private psychotherapy for three years for complex PTSD (child abuse) as well as several 'bonus' traumas (including a rape in adulthood).

Do you have dx of both cPTSD (child abuse) and PTSD (sexual trauma) ?

Nope simplysteve - CPTSD isn't an offical diagnosis under DSM V.

I (had) a diagnosis of PTSD and that related to multiple traumas (sexual was also in childhood).

I no longer have a PTSD diagnosis.

You aren't hijacking Steve, it's anyone's thread.

Psychotherapy for three years?
I'm not expecting miracles or a quick fix, though my understanding is that EMDR can have rapid results.

For me I don't think the standard six sessions of counselling would be enough it hasn't been offered to me but three years? I want to recover, not remortgage.

"Psychotherapy for three years?"

Yes. I was raped repeatedly throughout child by a family member and then my mother committed suicide.

Just 'the one' rape I experienced in adulthood would have taken far less time, I'm sure.

Did you mean to be so horribly derogatory towards me or is this your 'gallows humour' way of dealing with what happened to you?

18 is the Somatic Therapy book you posted about the one by Arielle Schwartz?

"it's anyone's thread."

Except when someone has something positive to share, clearly.

I second The Body Keeps the Score.

Enjoy your pity party.

I'm glad it's worked for you, I think everyone should do what works for them and I wouldn't want anyone to experience pain.

However, I'm not sure that the same will work for me. I don't believe there is a one size fits all answer.
A quick look at the counselling website tells me that 172 counsellors within a 15 mile radius of me say that they specialise in sexual trauma.
As we live in a fairly sparsely populated area and a 15 mile radius doesn't cover any large cities it seems unlikely that all of those 172 counsellors have received rigorous training and have thorough experience of working with people post sexual trauma.
Which is why caution is needed.

In fact, I spend my life putting on a mask and pretending everything is ok.
Talking about it, however casually does make me feel exposed and vulnerable, it increases my PTSD episodes probably because I keep it hidden most of the time.
Talking about it for two counselling sessions then being cancelled would make me feel much worse. Hell, talking to my GP for 10 minutes makes me feel much worse and she's really sympathetic.

No, I don't want to spend 3 years seeing a counsellor about this. It's not the money which I reckon to be in the region of £5k it's the time.
For me I want to be well and move on, preferably as quickly as I can. I do not want to be cowed by this example.

As I said upthread I don't want a pity party, though anyone is welcome to moan, I want to get better. I started this thread looking for suggestions to help me get through the short term while I find something that will work for me.

Please do keep any suggestions coming.
I've downloaded The Body Keeps The Score and if anyone is interested I will keep you updated.

“No, I don't want to spend 3 years seeing a counsellor about this.”

I think you are being wilfully obtuse if you think I’ve suggested you need to be in counselling for three years.

I will not engage with you further - you came here asking what might help, including saying you’d consider private therapy.

If I’d know you weren’t looking for advice but for a an outlet to be angry at the world I wouldn’t have posted.

Read your thread back - it’s obstacle after obstacle.

Recovery doesn’t happen until you’re prepared to work for it - whatever method that involves.

I could waste time patiently explaining to you why my therapy has taken three years and yours wouldn’t.

Not least the family fallout from finally talking about and then reporting my abuse, the police investigation and court case.

The fact that my mother committed suicide. My father later disowned me.

Being raped aged 25 by a friend? That amounted to maybe a couple of months of therapy for me.

It was probably the easiest part of all of all of the things I’ve done n therapy.

I hope that reassures you.

Sounds awful for you Gold. I wouldn't have interpreted the OP's three year comment as a criticism of you though, just her hoping it wouldn't take her three years.