bipolar

[jandeb]

DH is bipolar and I have always coped, but DC are getting to notice things. I dont know how to deal with this.

no idea how to help, but bumping for you (and showing someones read it)
[encouraging smile]

How old is your DC? Can you get advice from your GP as to what to tell them?

dont the mind website have any leaflets or coping statergies

No advice as such. My sister had a couple of bipolar/ manic episodes which resulted in her being hospitalised. It helped me to go to Manic Depression Fellowship meetings (www.mdf.org.uk/ -I can't do links). I met up with sufferers & fellow carers/ parents/ siblings. They were good for practical advice.

Are they noticing the depression or the mania?

I'm bipolar type 2so the "mania" is pretty mildbut my kids notice my depression. It gets pretty bad from time to time: I get suicidal and uncontrollably tearful. I try to control the tearfulness, because I know kids hate to see their mums cry, but often I just can't. My dh tells the kids things like, "Some people laugh a lot, but your mum cries a lot! It's just the way she is! Everyone's different!" He's being honest, and the kids feel reassured. And I guess some kids have to endure volatile mums who shout a lot, whereas I never shout, but I do cry. So I guess kids get used to their parents' quirks. My kids are 7 and 4 (how old are yours?). As they get older I'll just explain my illness, if it it hasn't been controlled by then. I think it's scarier in a way for kids not to know.

Talk to them about it. FWIW, my mum is severely bipolar and my sister and I are fine . The worst thing is not knowing what's happening.

DC are 8, 10, 13, 17.
2 girls and 2 boys.

zanthipi - thanks for your input,
I am always honest with the kids and was concerned that it was TMI for them to handle. DD(2) is 10 YO and will know what 'mood dad is in' before she has even spoke to him. I do this but was concerned when she showed the same awareness.

Talking about it and showing that you are open and avaialable for discussion is probably the best thing you can do. You don't need to give them so much information that you overload them but by being calm and accepting your children will probably not get too hung up on things and will talk you as they need to. Good luck - I have this all to come!

I think it may be easier for DC to accept when they have grown up with it, and its us that worries too much. They sometimes ask what mood dad is in and they know how to be around him. I have always thought this a good thing, also I dont offer any info till it is asked what do you think am I being selfish.