Struggling to cope with my dad's mental illness

[Ribbon14]

Hi all,

Having such a hard time at the moment. Have my own struggles with anxiety and depression and have recently been diagnosed with inflammatory bowel disease. On top of this my dad who is an alcoholic is having yet another melt down and I don't know what to do to help. He has had numerous hospital admissions in the past 6 years and has been referred many times for counselling and help to stop drinking but it never works. At the moment, he's severely depressed, not leaving his flat, not taking care of himself and very hard to get through to. I'm at a loss as to how to help him and it's really affecting my mental health too. Does anyone have any advice?

For now I would concentrate on your own health. Your dad is actually responsible for his. I know it never feels like that but the truth is you can't make him access help, stop drinking, or look after himself better. Obviously you could go round and clean his flat for him but I think you and he would be better served by getting yourself stronger as in the 'own life jacket first' scenario.

You can only do so much OP. Time to take a step back and look after yourself. If your dad was thinking straight he wouldn't want you suffering and making yourself ill because of him would he.

I know. Its just so hard. Because in the past he has ended up lying on the floor in his flat... So if I don't do anything I fear he could end up in a similar state again or worse and no one would know.

I do understand. I've got one similar. Maybe you could just commit to doing one thing a day- popping round maybe, or calling. And once you've done that, concentrate on yourself. If there's no response or answer and he knows you'll be calling every day, all you can do is call an ambulance.