Self harm

[monkeymuma]

I've been having a tough time lately, especially at home. I have recently started hurting myself, having managed to stop previously for about 10 years. I feel so ashamed that I've got to this point again but feel like this is my go to reaction to negative or snide comments I get especially from my OH. We have had a lot of issues lately and I'm not sure this is where I want to be but feel I don't have a choice because we have a son together and he won't leave. This is not the mum I wanted to be to my LB and I get so low sometimes. I feel empty and get told by my OH I am cold and don't feel anything and I'm starting to wonder if he's right. The only person I care about or love unconditionally is my LB and I just want to be a better person for him. I have recently been doing CBT but this stopped a few weeks ago and now I feel
So alone and have no one to talk to honestly about how I feel. I don't know how to stop and if anyone has any advice id appreciate it.

Hi, it sounds like you are considering some huge changes in your life at the moment. I can imagine that that feels daunting. You sound like you're struggling and, although I don't have any direct advice for you (because what you're dealing with is so personal and, I'm sure complex), I just wanted to say that you sound like you're being really strong because you have realised that your LB is who you love unconditionally and you've sought help.

Can I ask why the CBT stopped? I hope that there is some chance that it can start again, or maybe you could go to the Drs on Monday. There's always the Samaritans, if you feel really low and need to talk. I hope that you have someone around you who you are able to talk to, if those things don't feel doable at the moment. Is it worth thinking about what helped you stop self-harming 10 years ago? Perhaps the same strategies could help you again.

Anyway, all the best, and I hope that you have lots of cuddles with your LB tomorrow x.