I feel like I'm not part of my family

[annonymous123]

I'm only 19 and I still live at home but from an early age I've felt like I wasn't part of my family, I've always had other interests than them- they're all big sports fans and their social circles revolve round their friends made within these clubs and the parents of my brother/sisters friends. Because I'm the eldest I essentially feel like I'm there to look after the others- that I am there to take them to football training or to their friends houses or wherever else they need to go to when my parents aren't there, I essentially feel like a nanny, the only break I get is when I'm in work or uni. I always feel like my younger sisters are favoured over me and if I try and call them out on it I'm being unreasonable or childish. Is there anyone who has been in the same situation as me?

That doesn't seem fair that you've been put on like that. Have you ever mentioned how you feel to your parents? Won't be long until you can get out into the world and be more independent hey? Do you have any friends that have similar interests to you?

I have before but it often ends with me being looked at as the worst in the world for thinking such a thing so I don't even try to talk about it anymore. I do have a few friends with the same interests but they're at uni in England and far from home. I have been trying to make new friends so hopefully, that helps me. Thank you for replying to me x

It doesn’t fair how you’re treated and you were right to raise this with your parents. It does happens unfortunately especially if there is a gap between you and siblings.
I don’t have a recipe as such but I was at this situation on the other side. I have older sister (quite a big gap between us). She was looking after me a lot during her teenage years. When I became older I understood and appreciated this much more. I also looked after her DS when he was young so in a way payed my debts.
I think that 19 is a tricky age. You still need support and understanding but you are independent person with your own interests. Some parents don’t know what to say and what to do for you, sorting out practical issues for younger children is much simpler. Also you showed that you could cope with things being at uni so your parents probably decided that you didn’t need their support and attention. Mine were like this... Friends understand you better at this age.