The Bipolar Support Thread

[BippityBoppity87]

Hi everyone Just thought I'd start a shiny new thread for anyone who is suffering from bipolar disorder.

Hope everyone is ok!

Another day sat on the sofa, feeling miserable and angry! My exh new gf has decided she is going to play mummy to my children and is dictating how he should be looked after tommy childminder. I want to rip her fucking head off!! She refused to let him have his monkey this morning (little blanket) and after everything that's going on, being taken away from me, potty training, no seeing my mum everyday she wants to take away his one constant comfort- I'm raging! She doesn't even have kids! Anyway it's making me want to get up and do something, but I dont know what because I feel so sick from the lithium 🤢

Does lithium help with bipolar depression? As I'm feeling really really low at the moment. I just feel a mess. Up, down, up down. It's exhausting. I've been feeling pretty low for the past couple of weeks now. And paranoia.

I love Shallow by lady gaga, seems to be my depression song right now lol. Does anyone else get attached to songs when in an episode?

I was stable on lithium for 2.5 years. It worked really well for me until the shaking started.

I get attached to different songs. Some are really embarrassing but I get hooked and play them over and over.

imabloodyness I would be livid too, she sounds cruel.

She's a bit in your face, I'm hoping she is like that with my exh, that's karma for all the abuse he gave me! She also gave my childminder a lecture about not potty training him quick enough and apparently knows all about it as her friends have kids!!!!! Honestly she's been my childminder since my daughter was 15months (she's now 7)!! I'm not sure about lithium yet, it's coming up to 4 weeks for me and it's been upped twice, so far I just feel sick and have bouts of diarrhoea. Not noticed a change in my mood yet but i has a manic episode last week from all the stress I'm under. It's supposed to be the best drug for controlling mania and treating depression and as I've tried EVERYTHING else this is my last try before I throw everything away and go and live in the forest 😂

Lithium is the only medication to ever do anything for my low moods, it’s not always enough on its own for everything so I have olanzapine from time to time plus lorazepam if mood still too high and on max lithium (which hasn’t happened for ages).

I used to envy people on message boards getting to try all these shiny new ‘mood stabilisers’ but when I finally saw a different psych and got some other drugs they did nothing so my first dr was right all along 🙄

Forgot to add that it does take ages, I started it as an inpatient and it was nearly four months before I was levelled out enough to start having home leave and working towards being discharged. It was one of the very first drugs they gave me so I always had this feeling of just being stuck on something outdated and cheap but actually it’s quite magical.

That's good. Im feeling a bit better now. I was in tears earlier and I didn't know why. Just felt like absolute garbage. I think it's because he said to me it's a long term illness and you'll have this for the rest of your life. Just felt overwhelming and all the meds I have to take just to feel normal.

I think I'm in a depressive episode. Well very depressed actually, drank a lot last night, which just made everything worse. Going to stop that and see if I can lift my mood. But it's hard. I'm really struggling at the moment.

I'm not diagnosed yet. I know it's Bipolar though.

I'm in a depressive episode now. I thought it was tipping the other way and the hypomania was coming. I was looking forward to it. But no, I crashed again.

Anybody else almost want to be hypomanic or manic when they are in a depressed episode?

I know there are (many) downsides to that too, but it's far more enjoyable (for me at least) than the overwhelming depression

Hi @Bumblebee39 yep! That's me right now.

I feel like stopping my meds and just taking sertraline on its own, just for a week to lift my mood, but I know that will probably be a bad idea.

My hypomania started off good, feeling euphoric, and that lasted about month, then it got really bad to the point where people thought I was on drugs, and I needed diazepam to calm down. That part wasn't pleasant.

Are you under a mental health team or see a psychiatrist Bumblebee39?

Yes I miss the hypomania. Being on 20mg olanzapine makes me feel flat. Sertraline not touching my mood. Another appointment on 21st. When I say flat I mean really flat. Can't remember last time I laughed

@BippityBoppity87 I'm waiting to

How long have you been waint @Bumblebee39?

I feel flat too @DiaryofWimpyMumm and just really really low. I can't even cry. I managed to have a good cry on Thursday, but not since then.

Waiting*

So my kids have come to visit and it's a disaster. I've slept half the day, snapped at them, cried, vomited and I just don't want them here. I can't do it. The noise, the mess, the co stay t fighting and whining, my anxiety is through the roof and it's just showing what a shit mum I am and making me wonder if they'll ever be able to come home. It sounds awful but I don't know how I feel about them, I must love them but I just don't feel anything, they are just an annoyance at the moment which makes me the worst mother in the world. It must be the depression and new meds and generally feeling crap because I shouldn't be like this, what is wrong with me. I feel like I'm loosing my mind 😐

Couple of months.

Sorry to hear that @imabloodymess
I struggle to find the joy in it sometimes (when I'm depressed) just feels like lots of demands and housework but I have to push myself for their sakes
I'm sure things will improve soon xx

Just checking in. I’ve been in hospital for three and a half months now. I’ve got my third ECT session this morning (for depression). I hope it works.

Hey everyone. Sorry to hear that @FFSOMG

I've been signed off by my Dr as I haven't been coping and I've hurt my knee again. I've been put on lamotrigine as well as my other two medications.

Yes bippoty that's a mood stabiliser, hopefully that will be of some use to you when it kicks in.

Hopefully. Just feeling rubbish at the moment.

Me too. pip assessment tomorrow

Hope it goes well for you. I was thinking about applying too. Managed to fix most of the damage from Saturday night. Phone sent away to get fixed, got my purse back (lost it) ordered food, never arrived, but got my money back.

I haven't drank for 3 days. Which is a massive achievement for me.

I also have to get weekly med reviews as opposed to monthly after my wobble on Saturday.