Sister with mental health issues

[DietCokeIsBae]

TW: suicide attempts, self harm

My sister (16) has had a long history of mental health issues.

She's had spells of regular panic attacks, has previously self harmed and yesterday attempted suicide.

A few years ago we found content on her phone that was pro self harm and there were messages where she had told friends she was stood in the roof of the house and was going to jump - causing them all to panic around her and give her lists of reasons why she was amazing and why she shouldn't do it. She was actually in bed when these messages were sent.

We found out she had been self harming too and kept a close eye on her.

After these incidents my mum confiscated her phone over the summer holidays - we removed her social media accounts (with her permission) - and she was much happier for it.

Fast forward to this year and she has been in CAHMs counselling after much persuasion as her panic attacks were getting too frequent and stressful. she would regularly be pulling our other sister out of lessons to basically hold her hand but refused any other help.

She hides blades in her phone and still self harms but only scratches herself, never cutting anymore.

Yesterday morning at school she overdosed on paracetamol then went to her next class. She got a stomach ache and so she told a teacher that she's familiar with what she had done.

My mum picked her up and they went to A&E, they took her bloods and the levels were high but they didn't do anything about it. A mental health professional spoke to her to check she was safe to leave, that's when she admitted to having the blades in her phone and to what she'd done but any other questions were met with a shrug.

They recommended she take today off from sixth form but she wanted to go in because 'Tuesday is a good day' but she might take Wednesday off instead. When our sister came home crying she also didn't seem to understand why we were all upset. She even questioned why our mum want leaving her in the house alone to go on a date she had planned that night.

In all her counselling sessions there has been no progress, she's told our sister that it's just a chemical imbalance but if so then no professionals are picking up on that.

The reason why I'm posting is because 99% of the time she's completely fine. And I don't mean like she's putting on a brave face because I myself have had a history of depression and anxiety and this is so different - it's like she's completely unaware of the bad stuff at all.

Has anyone had any experience with this sort of behaviour? My mum is close to a nervous breakdown because everything seems to happen a school, never on weekends or at the holidays so we can't help but feel played sometimes.

TIA.

I'm so disappointed that in Mental Health of all places I've had no responses. :(

Are there any other issues going on in her life? It sounds like some real cries for help and attention. Does she suffer from low self esteem?

She's been doing it in different ways for a few years now. It all started when she was speaking to some girls on Instagram and they all were encouraging each other to wallow in, what was for some of them, a fake depression. They would all 1up each other with how 'bad' they could get.

I do think she has low self esteem but from the outside wouldn't say she's any worse than other girls I've known. Maybe that's because I'm on the outside though.

I was a bit like your sister when I was at school, I had quite extreme panic attacks (I self harmed but no suicide attempts). CAMHS do have services that they can refer parents and family members to for support, my mum found it really helped her. It may be an idea for your mum to ask about such services. I think even if some of these behaviours may seem like they are for attention, your sister must feel terrible about herself in order to have these behaviours in the first place. I’ve also found that any counselling/therapy never really helped me or changed my behaviours. Has she been offered medication? That has helped me over the years. I hope things get better for you!

It's sounds like she's quite easily influenced and feeling low about herself. Perhaps doing some positive activities with her that make her feel good about herself and inspire some honest (but preferably non MH related) conversation could help. Could you take her on a spa day, shopping, rock climbing or similar. I would be supporting her to access any services that may help and talk to her gp to.

Also, is she academic or have a special subject/interest/skill that she’s good at? I never had any of these and sometimes feel that made things worse for me as I felt like I had no outlet to excel in and as a result feel good about myself in.

I don't live in the family home so I'm not around her much - my mum is also starting to feel very stifled by my sister as she spends most of her time with her as it is. She is very exhausting to be around, as awful as it sounds.

I think my mum would feel better if they were just able to figure out some way to cope with it, my sister just doesn't talk to anyone about what she's feeling, not even her twin sister. She's just said it's a chemical imbalance but it's just in a way that was like 'that's what it is so you'll all have to deal with it' rather than 'that's what it is so let's work on it'.

But in order to cope with it, your mum may well need some support. If your sisters considering taking her own life and self harming she’s obviously in a very bad place and really struggling and you’re absolutely right, she will be exhausting to be around. But it’s not really her fault. She’s ill.

Sorry for an additional post, but do you have any other family members such as aunties/uncles/grandparents that could spend time with her so that your mum could have a break?

I understand that, I've been very ill too but she won't help herself so we can't do anything. She's in counselling, frequently sees her doctor and has medication for anxiety but doesn't really talk to any of them about anything.

Our family have a history of mental health issues but despite that they are all quite hard nosed, there isn't really anyone other than our Mum because she doesn't have a great relationship with her dad.