I'm feeling completely overwhelmed.
I have mental health issues - OCD, anxiety, depression and a long history of eating disorders. At the moment my eating disorder that is the thing making it hardest for me to be a mum.
Is there anyone out there battling with uncontrollable bingeing, anorexia and very poor body image? I feel completely alone in how this is effecting my ability to parent. I am so disgusted with how I look but I can't break the pattern that I have created since having my baby. I can't restrict in the way I used to and I can't ignore my hunger like I used to because I need energy to care for her - but when I start eating I literally cannot stop. It is as if 20 years of starving have caught up with me all at once. I get so distressed I can't even look at my baby because I am so disgusted with myself.
I am so selfish - too selfish to be a mum - but now there is no going back and I'm trapped.... and my baby is trapped with me and I'm falling apart