Finding therapy so hard

[whatshappening101]

I'm back in therapy again. I have bipolar 2 and have been very depressed/anxious for a few months now. So two weeks ago I started seeing a psychotherapist and I am finding it such hard work completing my "homework".

I really want to break the cycle of my negative thought processes and try to get better but my gosh, noticing and challenging each negative thought is making me realise how down on myself I am allllll the time!

Tell me this will get easier please

I don't have bi polar but have been through therapy for anxiety and depression, I lived in a vacuum of negative self fulfilling thoughts and it was draining and painful. However I saw a counsellor and worked on CBT and mindfulness which encourages you to live in the now and not get stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts, it took a few months for me to fully appreciate and use the techniques but they really work. I still have bad patches now but I know how to help myself and prevent it from escalating.

You can get better but it will take time and kindness and you need to put a lot of effort in, it's worth the hard work, this does not need to be your life, try to stay positive but please be kind to yourself otherwise you won't get anywhere.

Thank you for replying.

I am sure it will help as this therapist has pinned down my issues within an hour- she really knows her stuff and came highly recommended.

I guess I have just never really noticed the continuous negative loop I play to myself constantly and now I do!

I have been challenging all the negative thoughts but am just a bit overwhelmed by how many there are in a daily basis. I know it will work if I keen going though and I want to get better so will stick with it

That is how I felt my counsellor was amazing and once I had accepted how bad I had got I realised how obvious what he was telling me was, it all made sense but my mind was in such a mess I could not see straight, the fear and panic was so consuming I could not see a way out.

Nearly three years on I feel at peace with myself and acknowledge my unhelpful thoughts and let them go, most importantly I listen to,the voice in my head but don't internalise it, I try to be kind to myself and accept this life moment to moment I try not to look to far ahead.

That's reassuring thank you.

I never realised how bad my negative/anxious thoughts were until now

Don't challenge the thoughts. Just observe them and let them go.