I don’t recognise people’s faces

[BillywigStings]

I don’t know if I am the only one with this problem, but it certainly feels like it. I don’t recognise people and on a regular basis will walk by people who are bewildered and offended by it. I get mildly anxious in most social situations anyway and I naturally don’t tend to look people in the eye, though I force myself to. I find that unless I am out and walking along and actively thinking about recognising people and remembering to smile or say hello, I tend to not even notice they were there, other than in an abstract, strangers-walking-past kind of way. A previous neighbour took offence to this in a huge way, and it started a lot of unpleasantness. I was out in the garden, hanging out the washing, and she shouted over and waved (apparently). However, she was two gardens away, and I had my head in the clouds (as hubby puts it) and just walked inside with the empty laundry basket. This led to me feeling miserable for being ignorant and unobservant for weeks. She never did speak to me again (she was already antsy with me because she hated our cat) but we ended up moving soon anyway. The thing is, if I was just being unobservant and just had my head in the clouds, it doesn’t change the fact that I could not pick that woman, or most people I meet, out in a crowd. I tend to only recognise friends and family.

I’m currently sitting feeling horribly anxious because I relaxed and indulged myself today. I dropped off DS at nursery and walked home with my earphones in, listening to music. Now for me it’s either all or nothing. When I am listening to music I am in a different place - I can concentrate enough to get home safely, but for instance when there’s music playing in the background somewhere unless it’s reasonably quiet I can’t keep track of conversations. My hearing isn’t amazing so it just gets too confusing. So I walked home in my own world, and I noticed a few people caught my eye. This always seems to happen when I listen to music and it freaks me out, but I tend to assume it’s just because I am more relaxed so less likely to be feeling awkward and avoiding people’s eyes. So here I am, catching people’s eyes and feeling awkward but trying to enjoy music. Someone smiles as I catch their eye and I have to rack my brain as to whether they know me or am I doing something ridiculous like mouthing the words or have food on my face. Then I just get over that thought and some man says hello, I immediately panicked (thinking oh crap I must know him) and try to pull my ear phones out to reply, but he’s already past and I realise now that he is my neighbour. I am not 100% sure because of my recognition problem, but I just have this sinking feeling ... thing is, he must now think I’m a right b as it’s the second time I have blanked him, last time as he was coming out of the main doors of our flat block. I’ve even spoke to him a handful of times! We’ve got along well so why can’t I recognise his face?!

I know I tend to avoid looking at faces but I do try and study people I might bump into again, but often it doesn’t help. There’s still people I know quite well who I can’t quite picture in my mind.

Is something wrong with me? There’s a voice in my head telling my I’m just incredibly self absorbed and I don’t know, maybe I am. Can I fix this problem I have with recognising people’s faces?

I'm terrible too! I do best when I can see someone move and speak, if I am looking at them and they are still or silent, I've no chance.

I do the 'smile and nod' at everyone who catches my eye. Strangers think I'm friendly, people who know me think I've recognised them. If I have to chat, I do a generic 'how are you' 'nice shoes' 'ready for Christmas' type thing. They answer, I hear their voice, and hopefully they mention the name of someone (child, partner) and I work it out!

I was once reduced to trying to read the name on someone's prescription in their hand- she'd referred to my kids and husband by name, and I still didn't have a clue!

It’s nice to talk to people that are the same! When we watch films I’m sure dp thinks I’m making it up when I can’t follow the plot because everyone looks the same. It’s a funny thing because sometimes I do recognise people without any problems but then other times I just don’t have a clue.

This is why I gave up on that series on Netflix, Haunting on hill house or whatever it's called. All the female characters looked the same to me. I don't think I made it to the end of the episode, I was far too confused.

BippityBoppity87 - try watching the Matt Damon/mark wahlberg film - no hope at all!
We also watched some army drama that I quite enjoyed until they actually went to war & all started wearing army helmets, that was it, I was totally lost

Oh god this reminds me of something else that happened to me. Years and years ago when I worked in a restaurant, I had put the food through on the till, but the wrong table. A few minutes later, a colleague asking where this person was. I went round every table and I didn't recognise the person at all. Then I just stood in the middle of the restaurant like this..🤔 Sorry, I don't think I'm ever going to find this person! What makes it worse is that it wasn't even a big place! Maybe 40 tables max.

Another thing - I cannot "see" people in my head but if I need to think what, say, my mum looks like, I can picture a photo I have of her. It is easier to recall a photo than real life.

I do that too. I just assumed it was normal! I'm also terrible with directions, especially street names. I've lived in my current city for 10 years now, and apart from the what is in close proximity to me, maybe 2 or 3 miles either direction, I know very little!

I'm find pubs shops helpful in that situation.

Oh yeah, I remember how it felt when I found out that when people talk about picturing someone in their head they actually can 'see' the person inside their own head ... I still don't quite get what that would be like!

@recently me too! I am rubbish at co strutting a mental image of a person but can recall an image.

The weirdest thing that I have got from this thread though is that a lot of people like this don’t seem to think visually. I think visually. Words describe the images in my head. But when I think of people they are either a photograph or an ill defined set of characteristics, smells and movements that don’t quite fit together. It’s quite trippy. It’s like I’ve got this world inside my head inhabited by wavering shapes of people.

I have this. Change your hairstyle and I'm lost. I can't tell/don't notice identical twins either.

You know the scene in Dirty Dancing where Baby is afraid she'll be recognised by the older couple? That threw me as a young child because I thought she looked so different with the hair up and make-up I didn't see how they could possibly notice her! I honestly didn't realise it was me that was unusual!

When I took part in the research, one of the things I found really interesting was about upside down faces. People who are not face blind find it difficult to recognise a face upside down, because they recognise a whole face as one 'object' which fits together in a particular way. People who are face blind are still bad at recognising upside down faces, but no worse than we are at recognising them the right way up, because we construct faces based on individual characteristics (wears glasses, has a pointy chin etc. In my case I do this with words, but other people may do it directly with images) and these can be seen even if the face is not the right way round. So, for example, a non-face-blind person might score 80% on right way up faces and only 5% on upside down faces; a face blind person might score 10% on both.

The late neurologist Oliver Sacks suffered from face blindness and wrote and spoke about it extensively, this article is fascinating: www.google.it/url?sa=i&source=undefined&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwjej_2lu4TfAhUCM-wKHbNZBDYQzPwBCAM&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.newyorker.com%2Fmagazine%2F2010%2F08%2F30%2Fface-blind&psig=AOvVaw0R2hVJeNIQqxrMdKhSGwPH&ust=1543954082027697