Someone please come and tell me everything will be ok - DH just quit job to become my carer :(

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It's just a huge step to take but I am just not getting better. I started being depressed about 5 years ago, and just over 2 years ago it really gripped me. I have been recovering, then getting worse, seemingly worse than before. DH has had alot of time off when I have been really bad and today was really the final straw I guess - his work aren't happy, he isn't happy and neither am I. He has spoken to his 'support worker' and she is sorting out the benefits we have to go on now, but the next appointment is July 23rd. I have no idea at all how we will survive until then - DH will only get 2 weeks wages this month and nothing at the end of July. Apart from the lack of money, I feel I have hit an all time low - before we were managing, day by day and now it's all come crashing down around us. I have no idea what to do, if I persuade him to go back to work I will just sink lower but we have no money, and no future without his job.

Anyone?

There's nothing I can say to help. It sounds like a really difficult situation for you all to be in.

volume, health wise it sounds like teh best thing for you and dh. He obviously cares about your illness so much and is doing all he can to help. You can apply for benifits on the money side of things, and sometime in the future you may be well enough to work too and your life will improve greatly.

It sounds difficult at the moment and i have no experience of depression but wanted to know someone had read your post.

Thanks you two Just benefits will take months to sort and even when they are sorted I have doubts it will cover all the bills. Plus what does DH say to people when they ask what he does? "oh, I err look after my wife" . Sorry just having a moan.

It does sound difficult but hopefully he can help you recover and feel better in yoursef. I hope things do get better for you.

I am glad you have a supportive partner.
I hope you are getting some help with your depression.

Maybe the Citizen's Advice Bureau could help with money advice.
They have lots of info on their website:
CAB

Another site with a benefits calculator:
entitled-to

i am a carer for my husband, we manage ok.

are you renting or mortaged?

are you claiming disability living allowence?

We have a mortgage. The woman who DH spoke to said I have to get disability allowance as I haven't made enough NI contributions to claim incapacity benefit. It's all a mine-field! I hope DH doesn't resent me for this, he would have been promoted long ago but they said his attendance was the only thing holding him back, and now he doesn't have a job at all. I am hoping it's only for a few months, but I have been bad for years.

disability living allowence can be claimed online.

here

once that is sorted then you dh can claim carers allowence. then you can go onto income support, child tax credits etc.

its a hard slog, but try abnd get the disability form done tonight. you can download it and get GP to sign it.

once you get the benefits sorted out you will have a better idea of the money situation, you should apply for DLA and DH will then be able to get carers allowance.

I hope you have a good doctor, and help from the NHS/support groups with your depression.

and the disability allowence is in ADDITION to other benefits.

so see if CAB can see you ASAP to get some money coming in.

whoops i see big cake posted at the same time as me saying the same things!

The woman said the form is very long, and she knows what benefits to claim for etc. Gp doesn't need to sign for DLA, just my mental health team person. Do you think I should just go to CAB and try and get the ball rolling myself? I don't want to mess it up, but I cannot wait over a month before the forms are even done.

get it rolling yourself definatly. print the forms off now, or call 08457123456 in the morning to request disability forms.

tbh you should have been on this benefit anyway its not means tested and you could;ve been claiming for a while.

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how you doing today volume?

Quite a turnaround, I am a cowardly namechanger and people were not saying that about DH a few months ago. Will ring about DLA now, they won't backdate will they? Really I should have been on it at least 2 years as I have been pretty much housebound that long. I am ok, a good day for me, just panicig abit as DH is going to Goodwood on Sunday at 5am and I am worried I will have one of my bad days.

i think i know who are are.

They'll backdate by a few weeks but i can't remember how many.

they will backdate to the date you called up for it.

Yes they said something like it would start from today - I didn't think they would backdate it years .

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