I have OCD, anxiety, PTSD and depression, alongside many physical health problems. I was diagnosed in my teens with my mental health issues but I can remember having certain feelings and doing certain rituals as a very young child.
After ending up having to access the local mental health crisis team last year I was put on some medication (Quetiapine, it's an anti-psychotic) because anti depressants don't seem to work well for me and make me feel much, much worse. The quetiapine has helped and has recently been increased as I have been struggling a lot. My GP has re referred me back to the local mental health team and I am waiting for them to contact me.
For the last few months now I have noticed a decline in my mental health, which is why I sought more support from my GP. My anxiety is very high, to the point that my OCD is crippling me both mentally and physically. It is taking me a couple of hours to get to bed on an evening, more if DH is on nights/twilights. The rituals are long drawn out, quite involved and very specific. I have had several rounds of CBT in previous years, but even this isn't helping now as the anxiety seems to have a firm grip on me.
I am lucky to have a wonderful DH, MIL and a couple of friends who all know me and support me. I am struggling to talk to them about this increase in my anxiety/OCD and decline in my mental health. DH works in a rewarding but, at times, dangerous job and I hate to put further pressure on him by way of me talking to him about the decline in my mental health and making him worry about me/the DC/the house etc while he is working. I don't want to speak to my friends about it as they have enough going on in their own lives as does my lovely MIL.
I am again having suicidal ideations/thoughts, I am nowhere near as bad as I was last year (I made plans last year) and I am safe as are my DC but I'm scared. I don't know what the trigger was to bring about this mental health decline. I was doing okay, I was on an even keel and then one morning I woke up and everything was bleak again.