When will this end?

[willbefine88]

I feel ashamed of myself to feel heartbroken for this long.

I’ve got an assessment with my insurer and they have now booked me in for a psychiatrist assessment, I’m hoping they can prescribe me some meds (anti depressant?), they also set me up for CBT therapy.

So how did this start? Dated a guy at work for a few short months, he broke up with me aruptely. Heartbroken. Went away travelling for a month. Now back at work for 3 months now. Cry everyday but in front of everyone I put on a strong face (damn good at that!). Felt hopeless and lost, no longer have suicidal thoughts but actually wouldn’t mind dying either, darkness would have been nice. It’s not like I have nothing to look forward to, because I do, but I’m not looking forward to anything, if that makes sense? Like nothing excite me anymore. The pain comes and goes, triggered by memories of the 2 short months we were together, uninvitedly they come in my head and they break me to tears. Having to see him and work with him daily that certainly doesn’t help. But no i will not move job. He has broken my heart I cannot let him ruin my career.

Please tell me, would the anti depressant help in my case? I did try talking psychologist coucelling but found that useless so switching to CBT.

3 months since the break up, still in so much pain. What is wrong with me?

Nothing wrong with you - if there’s anything you must believe it’s that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your reaction.

1. You moving jobs doesn’t mean he ruins your career. Your unhappiness, however, is more important. I know I’d rather leap and take a fresh start than prolong the pain.

1. I can’t tell you about anti depressants as I don’t have personal experience of using them. However my mum is a practising nurse and maintains that anti depressants are not a fix. They’re not a cure. What they do is give you time and space to work through things rationally, and not from a place of pain and darkness.

1. It might be that your counsellor wasn’t the right one for you; it does sound like you need to talk to someone to work this through.

Sending healing thoughts to you x

@ohmybaby thank you for your kind words.

I’m still waiting for the psychiatrist assessment to get the meds. The thing I’m concerned about is, would the meds defeat the purpose of the CBT therapies? Because if the meds make me feel numb...how could CBT then help?

Also, if I stay on the meds long enough. Would it cure the broken heart or when I stop all the pain and grieve would come back? And would the meds help if I have to see the person who cause me the pain on the daily basis?

Well meds and CBT address different areas. Meds will regulate imbalances in your mood, alongside any hormonal/chemical triggers depending on the types of anti Ds you are prescribed. CBT is more about looking at your behaviour and thought processes and challenging negative patterns that are stopping you from being able to move on from hurtful thoughts or painful memories.

Honestly, if it was me? I’d see it as arming myself with the best possible defence I could to be able to heal - and eventually move forward. It’s fantastic that you’ve sought help; the first few steps are the hardest.