i think i have slipped to actually being depressed now.

[VeryBigCake]

its Dee btw.

Lately everything has been bringing me down, and even my happy coping face isnt fooling anyone.

tomorrow i am having a mole removed, which has been preying on my mind for a few weeks. I am not able to sleep (always a bad sign i know), i am avoiding the stuff i enjoy, and i want to be out of my home all the time. small things are flipping me out.

We have a meeting soon regarding care hours and increasing them in time for the school holidays, which i am dreading now. How can i entertain 3 little ones with the situation how it is for 6 weeks? MIL has offered to take come time off work and live here for a week (split in two) during the hols so i can escape somewhere, but i am already worrying about lack of phone signal.

I have been in tears on and off since around 4pm this afternoon as i finally let it all out.

I am scared of what the future holds, how can it be over 2 years now?

hey you. I didn't want this to go unanswered.

I think it's good to let things out - have you been offered any emotional support for you and the family?

I don't know how you do it tbh and manage to keep it all together.

you have done so well for 2 years - no advice as such but take care of yourself.

can we help on here AT ALL moneywise?

money for more care hours etc?
prepared food deliveries?
days out funds?

say the word

x

oliveoil, very nice offer, but i just purchased zoo passes for a year, i am guessing i will be going there a LOT this summer.

i am feeling better today with the prospect of a few days break, and also the big thing weighing on my mind with mole removal is over.

yeah, it is funny how things like that really do weigh on your mind, isn't it. I think you put it to the back of your mind (because you have so much else to deal with) and then, when the time comes, it's really worrying!

hope you are ok

i think i need to take some more painkillers now, its aching a bit.