Am I depressed or just a miserable cow?

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I have noticed in the last few months that I cannot shake off this feeling. Usually a week before I have my AF, I feel very low and withdrawn but it goes away when AF comes and goes and I get back to normal. However this time, it has been lingering. I don't look forward to waking up anymore and getting a head start. I eat a healthy diet and get plenty of exercise and sleep but that is not doing anything and I truly believe it runs deeper.

I have a DS who is 2 and I physically do not have the energy to play with him or take him out because I am permanently tired. I am visiting my DH's family and I feel like I've ruined it because I've been a grumpy, horrible bitch because I cannot enjoy it. We've been outdoors, we went to tourists sightings but I haven't enjoyed myself. All I was looking forward to was going back home and into bed. All I look forward to is bed times and going to sleep. I failed my last year at university because I didn't have the mental ability or strength to continue as I simply had no motivation at all.

That's not life, is it? I don't feel right at all and I'm making everyone's life a fucking misery because I am a miserable cunt  my husband said he regrets bringing me to see his family because of the way I have been and he said he would've enjoyed it if he went by himself! And he is right. It would have been better if he went alone.

I feel so guilty. I almost cried earlier but I stopped them because I don't want to tell them how I feel incase they ridicule me. I am in bed now, hoping that my DS goes sleep soon so that I can just sleep and think happy things instead of waking up in the morning facing another shitty day.

Get a blood test done. You could be low in iron, vit d or vit b12
Take some floradix in the meantime.

@Beechview will the doctors do a blood tests first before ruling out anything else? Thank you for your reply.

I wanted to reply because I feel the same way. I have a nice enough life, part time job, nice DH, DC, ok health and finances but I am also a miserable cow. I also look forward to going to bed more than anything else. I feel like I have no reason to be miserable when other people have actual problems so I kind of discount how I am feeling, although it hasn't seemed to have gone away!

I am not sure it's depression but somehow the relentless daily grind of life has started to get on top of me. Maybe its boredom - life for most of us is fairly boring I would say (no offense) and I have always been a person who just gets on with things. However, I can't shake this feeling either, it's kind of there in the background.

Maybe a change is needed OP? A job move or a move move. I don't have the answer but I just wanted to let you know that I too have this weird empty/tired feeling.

*offence - good grief!

I’m not sure op but it’s a good place to start.
I was low in iron and felt crappy and exhausted every day. A friend felt really low and wanted to stay in bed all the time and it turned out she needed vit b12 shots.
No one can diagnose you over the internet, unfortunately, and it could be something else but those are just some common issues.

@flightlessbird1 thank you for your kind reply. So sorry you are feeling the same also :( it is horrible. I understand exactly what you mean! I always think of others that are way more unfortunate but I still cannot shake off or help how I am feeling. I was thinking a change is needed but to be honest, I do not mind my job. It is crap pay but I work with an amazing team and really enjoy going work. I would really love to move elsewhere to a difficult location and it is being planned but my husband has just settled into a new job and he loves it so far so we are putting it on hold at present. I really need to find something that is causing me to be this way. I will need to see the doctor but I feel so embarrassed :( they probably hear it every day and think we are just moaning and being lazy.

Yes, that's how I feel too - I try and minimise feeling like shit because let's face it everyone feels like shit. I do think having kids is part of it - I love them obv but the routine of life with kids can be shockingly dull and it makes you feel low without you even realising it because, who cares? you have to get up and look after them.

Age matters too. I'm in my 40s and things can start to become a bit "is this just it then?". For what it's worth I also have terrible PMS which just adds to things and I think at this age it lasts for more than week (sorry if that makes you feel worse....).

Also, don't feel embarrassed about going to the Dr, even just admitting that you feel like shit helps. It doesn't mean that you have to start taking medication etc. You don't have to just carry on without being able to scream into the wind once in a while!

I feel like this a lot of the time. Very withdrawn - I'm naturally shy anyway but I just don't want to talk to anyone at the moment.

Some days I'm fine and yes it's definitely worse since children.

I feel crushing resentment to my DH too - and I shouldn't because he's great. But I feel seething anger that his life is the same and mine has changed beyond belief.

I've just come back off ads as, rather surprisingly, I'd like to try for another child, and it's made it worse so I guess I was depressed as the pills did help.

I just feel rather meh, tearful and switched off. I'm sure there are many poor folk feeling the same!

Just got to appreciate the great simple things, enjoy friends and family and maybe have a goal to a for or something to look forward to - makes it all a little sunnier!

www.jaxhealth.com/app/files/public/10161/burns-depression.pdf

If you want to know if you're depressed, this questionnaire is brilliant! (Check against your score against the guide at the bottom...& even if the results say you are 'unhappy' or have 'mild depression, that is enough to not be enjoying life)
I use the test, as I often don't realise I'm 'going downhill', I just start sleeping more, eating more and losing interest in most things I'm usually interested in.
The author of this test Dr David Burns has written several CBT books...he's one of the world's leading psychiatrists, I've found the exercises in his books fantastic & fast working, after sitting down for an hour to do some CBT I feel so much better (I do the test after the work too and see my score go right down, often to a 'no depression' score.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_D._Burns

hi I would say please get a blood test. A few years ago I felt the same and after getting testing I was lacking in vitamin D and calcium. Also recently I felt extremely tired (I am pregnant) and though I know it can get more tiring towards end of second nd third trimester. . it was more so. I would do a little bit and feel exhausted, felt no energy to do anything and felt very down and not myself at all. It is only after collapsing at work established I was dehydrated, lacking in iron and my bp was low. Now I am on iron tablets feeling much better than before.
i know the weather and dark nights donot help people with moods. I really hope you feel better soon. Are you drinking enough water, I have to force myself as I always used to drink water with cordial but. since pregnancy gone off all drinks.
Also if you do let your DH know how you're feeling and that you know your time with his family wasnt as you had wanted as you were not feeling well. Sometimes DH's dont realise what is happening with us unless we really spell it out for them and also good to keep them in the loop. Hope u feel better soon and please do ask your doc for blood tests even if it is to rule everything out, tc