Been an idiot

[honeyfever]

I have been taking citalopram for a little over 18 months, for a combination of depression and anxiety.

Decided that it was making me behave recklessly and felt a bit better so thought it was a good idea to stop taking it a couple of weeks ago.

Today depression has hit my like a tonne of bricks. I am so full of self loathing and just feeling utterly useless. I haven't been able to go into work either which adds an extra layer of guilt and my feelings about myself that I am just a lazy and hopeless person.

Have referred myself to some counselling and going to go to the GP this week to get myself a different medication, but in the meantime just wanted a place to vent and maybe hear other people's success stories? Thanks

The good news, OP, is that you've recognised there's an issue and you're dealing with it promptly. I hope the solution is swift and sure.

Hopefully just one bad day & tomorrow will be better. It's positive that you have been pro-active & taking charge of your MH.
x x

You’re not useless. Mental ill health is shit. Totally horrid. And makes you feel all kinds of irrational things.
Citalopram was great for me when I was REALLY low. But I’m on Fluoxetine now and it’s great. I feel like me. Just a bit more able to cope.
Good luck OP. You’ve done exactly the right thing in making that appointment. Sod work. Time to put you first.

It can be dangerous to suddenly stop taking antidepressants as it can plunge you right back into the depths of depression. It’s very good you’ve made an appointment with GP, well done

So these things are always an opportunity to learn something, and you've done that. And you have done what you need to do to sort it out. Exercise helps me feel much better, and keeps the worst of my anxiety at bay, alongside a maintenance dose of medication. I have messed about with it in the past, and come to the conclusion I need to accept I will be on medication possibly forever.... I have made my life relatively simple, which helps, so I don't feel overwhelmed, and have surrounded myself with good people. The toxic people have been edited, which has also made a difference.

You shouldn't think of yourself as an idiot. You should be proud of yourself for recognising tie symptoms and asking for help