Anger management

[LowFatMilkshake]

I am getting worried with myself lately over feelings of anger that completely overwhelm me so much I feel I have to break something.

But as I dont always have something disposable I tend to hit my head alot with my fists or worse case I bang my head on a wall or hard surface.

I know this is'nt normal but I can't stop myself. I never hit my children, and I have never let them see me hit my head on a surface but my DD has seen me hit my head with my hands and bang my hands on the sofa and alarmingly I have seen her imitate me when she gets cross.

I am so worried, I dont want to talk to my GP in case it leads to social service involvement in case they think my children are at risk - which they most certainly are'nt.

I should add the anger can be over anything, such as dropping something or something falling out of an over full cupboard, and not normally anything to do with the children, but have got worse since I have returned to work because I am stressed.

The last time I did it was yesterday morning and my head is still tender where I headbutted the cupboard twice.

Any help - I never did this before my 6month old DS was born and was wondering if it is a type of PND.

Please go and see you gp or health visitor, You need to work things out. I'm sure ss won't need to be involved

Someone mentioned to me about depression coming out as anger, I suffer from this but tend to shout a lot.

It does sound to me liek a form of PND - and as a former suferer of PND I'd say it's almost a 'healthier' form of PND. What I mean is that at least you are finding a way of letting go of negative feelings, rather than stifling them until they overwhelm you in another, worse, way. But I can understand why you don't like this way of expressing them, or of having them come up at all.

I do think you ought to deal with it, and I don't think there should be any worry over your children's well-being as a result of this expression of your feelings. Please do go and talk to your GP, or your HV if you feelcomfortable with her.

How long have you been back at work? Is it a particularly stressful job, what hrs do you work?

It's not my job that's stressful persay, but the rush to get to work and the frustration at having to get a bus home. PLus I dont enjoy working 1-1 with my boss which is always on my mind that will occur.

I still have a headache from the weekend and last night when my DS woke, I was so tired as he had already had me up a few times I just sat on the edge of my bed and hit my head. I dont understand why i do it, or the fact that it seems to be a reflex reaction and not something I can control, I sort of do it before I know what I've done.

Am definitley going to seek some medical advice.

(It's tentacles btw}
Medical help sounds good, you've admitted there's a problem that's the first step so they say.
I'm trying to get a gp appt to help with my stress, depression & anger.
I shout and get really wound up and angry very quickly DS's are only 2.4 yrs and 10mths ffs, not like they do it on purpose

That's me too - I often turn into a complete fishwife - something I always said I would never do. But I am so tired with DS that DD takes the brunt of my shouting, she's 3 she can't help it. I am forever apologising to her and telling her I am a naughty mummy and that it;s because I am tired because her BB has kept me awake. In fact some mornings I just tell her outright 'mummy might be a bit grumpy today if I am I'm sorry I love you'

At least the hitting is too myself. I told DH about it last night and he said I was being silly, but I told a colleague - because I have had this headache all week and she thought it was a form of selfharm, which really alarmed me. I did;nt see it as that at all

My dh had anger management issues (got in a fight every time he went driving) and he went and saw a counselor who we found through Relate. It's private, but you pay according to your ability and it really is affordable. It helped my dh no end.

Can i say, from some-one who deals with anger management within her job, that it does not sound like 'anger' as in the stereotypical anger of rage or annoyance, but rather of frustration?

Might sound daft, but have you space for a punch bag? or something similar. Whilst you are looking at the best professional route to go down, you could spend a few minutes getting out tension and anger in a proper way, or use it when you feel like hitting youe head with your fists. And your children will view this as more healthy too? I know a few people who do this, and it helps them a lot. Not saying this as the solution, but as a possible release.

Ironing is the best way for me to take out my frustrations at the moment - I like to watch the pile reduce and I like the actual physical act of irnoning out the creases.

We dont have room for a punch bag, and DH would never agree to one, but now you have provked my thoughts on this issue I think I would get a similar release from swingball - does that sound silly?

LFMS - that does not sound silly at all. Swingball, or any other activity that enables significant physical excersion on your part will help, it will release endorphines which will make you feel better about yourself. Exercise is always a good remedy for stress/depression (of course not saying this alone is the answer). It will help release tension that is building/has built up, and its quite enjoyable isnt it?!

Thanks, I think I'll be looking at getting one of those, and as you said it will be good the DC's too.

And afterall, DH is always saying he wants DD to be the next Wimbledon star

LOL