feeling lost

[N4NNY]

I have been suffering with my mental health for a long time, i took medication for about 2 years but didn't really help so on the advice of GP came off them.
I'm having a huge low patch and can't seem to shake it off. I don't want to kill myself but I don't want to be alive either I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.
Sometimes when I'm driving I get the urge to drive my car into a wall or lamppost.
I hate myself, the way I look, I'm just want to sleep

Sorry to hear you feel so low. Intrusive thoughts happen to everyone. Whether it's 'what would happen if I drove into that wall' or 'what if I drove into that crowd of people'. As long as they are only thoughts and you do t follow through, it's totally normal.
Is there anyone you can talk to IRL? Try and get out the house?