I'm pretty sure I've got high functioning borderline personality disorder. I say high functioning due to being able to put on a front of normality in front of the general public, getting the highest exam grades possible, going to one of the best unis in the country and now having 2 degrees, yet emotionally I'm a total wreck. Close personal relationships are can be very intense up/down rollercoasters, I get bored once that up/down dynamic doesn't exist anymore, basically a bit of a commitmentphobe but also react so intensely to any perceived abandonment. Started around puberty (around 14) and 11 years on from that, I still have it. It's so intense, I feel I don't even know who I am sometimes.
What causes this? All those theories of physical/sexual abuse in childhood don't apply to me so could it be neurological/hormonal reasons?
Can it ever go away? I heard it can lessen with age but I haven't seen that effect yet :(