Ever feel like just giving up?

[Snakepit]

When I first became simgle my life was very simple, get up...get the kids to school...come home...tidy up...watch TV...play on the computer...pick the kids up...make tea...repeat daily etc

I had enough money to get by on so it was never really a worry either, a simple life but a boring life.

Anyway when a close family member's life was cut short I decided I wanted more out of life, I want a career, I want the good car, the nice house...My aunt was a single parent in the same position as me and she worked her way through a career and got the house, the car, the holidays all by herself and she pursuaded me that I could do it too.

So I got up off my bum and registered with the open uni to get social work qualifications, I also registered on a course which put me on voluntary work placement in the NHS...things seemed great at first but now the novelty is wearing off and I feel myself getting close to giving up.

My house is a complete tip which brings down my mood everytime I come home, I'm working everyday for nothing, I can't go anywhere as I have no car anymore and can't afford endless busfares and the work placement is starting to become more of a chore now as they never have anything for me to do so I just go and sit there, blatently in their way and wait for the clock to tick by and finally confirm that my "hours" have been done so I can go home. I'm due back in tomorow morning and the thought of it just depresses me, everyone else there has a proper job, a car, a house in a decent area, a husband to talk to on the night...I have a smelly bus, an empty messy home and a night alone to look foward to.

I just feel that my life before, although boring was much less stressful. I feel myself getting depressed as everyway I look now is not the kind of life I want, I don't want to be the "job centre trainee" at the work place, I also dont want to be the unemployed single mum on the council estate either, I try and look for work and nobody will take me on due to lack of experience. If this situation continues much longer I'm sure my mental state will suffer

Hey you - I did the ou social work thing and it was crap while I was doing it, but now am SO pleased I stuck with it as I have a job I love and really enjoy going to work. The training is shit - made me feel very unskillful (is that a word) but I am glad I did it as was the means to a very satisfying end. This current state is not forever - but saying that you need to look after your mental health, I have spent too much time being depressed and am very careful with how much stress I put myself under. Can you take a break at all? Or think about organising things differently so that you feel a bit more in control? How old are your DC? Can they help out with the housework?

Oh and by the way - I think you are being very strong and brave to try for a new life/career like this - it will be worth it if you can make it through this temporary tough time. Well done though is hard to do.

Oh you poor thing. I've nothing brilliant to say other than to give you a virtual hug. Don't give up. If anything do it just for yourself, not to prove anything to anyone. How long does your placement last? Try to think of doing something constructive about the lack of training. Could you complain to your course tutors? Write to someone? I'm a great believer in trying to change something in whatever way I can. I'm a colossal writer of complaint and suggestion letters. My local council must be sick of me but hey I live in a democracy and it struck me one day that I was the only one doing so. It may work, it may make you feel better, if nothing else, then at least it'll give you something to do on your placement.

X

oh sweetheart (((((((((((((snakepit))))))))))))

can you talk to your course placement supervisor? there should be someone who comes in every so often to check how you are getting on. if they're not finding things fo ryou to do, how on earth are you going to learn about the job?/??

we never really learn anything about ourselves if our lives are stagnating, imo i do think there should be someone either at the college or on your work placement. if the work placement makes you feel like you're being fobbed off, then try at your college. hth x

Hang in there Snakepit.
A few years (months?) of tough times will really really be worth it.

ou will be able to hold your head up high,feel proud of the example you have set to your kids, and enjoy the money and status that having a career gives you.

Are family/friends ready to help a bit more? Whilst not in exactly your situation I am doing an MSc on top of a f/t job as well as looking after two small children alone (dh abroad for long periods) and my mother has been fantastic at taking them for a Friday night so that i can wake refreshed on Sat. morning adn get cracking with assignments and so on.

Have you contacted Home Start to see if you are eligible for some help?

You sound very strong. And determined, and I admire you.

Please dont give up. You will not regret it. It sounds like you have a lot to give, and more than anything the example you are setting your children is amazing.

Nothing comes from nothing, and if you are prepared to put in the effort that you have obviously have so far will pay off. You will look back at your struggle, and realise that you have acheived something special, for yourself and for your family.

It is hard, but you can do it. You are doing it.

Be proud of yourself.

You've only one year left right, Sal??

The work placement isnt connected to the OU course, I took that on throught my lone parent advisor at the job centre. It was just to get some work experience so someone would employ me but I don't think it's working out like that, I mean what am I going to put on a cv? "sorted out filing cabinets"...I'm not learning anything, it's just depressing me even more but I don't want to give it up as then I'll be back to square one but then I think "is square one really that bad?"

I only have 5 weeks left on the course however but every night I dread the next morning more and more...tonight has been the worse, the thought of trekking across town on the bus to sit in an office all day just to come home again on the same smelly bus is depressing me so much. It just makes it so much worse knowing I'm not even being paid for it.

Thanks for all the encouragement and kind words however xx

go back to the jobcentre then and tell them what's happening. it's waste of your time when you feel you could be more productive than sitting doing npthing all day.

Snake, anything, however crap can be spiced up to look good on a placement and the crapness of it can be worked to your advantage if you give a reflective evaluation of it as part of your coursework or during an interview.

You could even take discreet notes on what you see that could be improved on. I can't get my head around there not being something for someone to do. offhand in my office (am a sppeach and lang. therapist) I could think of..

-tidying and making inventory of toy cupboard
-photocopying
-basic research on net to improve data base
-helping make resources
-helping admin assistants with filing tasks
-reading through 'trade' journals
-helping me run groups

Would kill for an extra pair of hands

Something in my head keeps telling me "who you trying to kid? you, a social worker??"

My mum never did anything with her life and I feel I'm destined to be the same, even when I do try it doesnt work out. I hate sounding as if im feeling sorry for myself but I feel like I'm swimming against the tide.

how about you change it too "why not a social worker? i would be a blardy good one".

Don't be ridiculous Snake. You've done the hardest thing ALREADY WHICH IS COMMITTING TO CHANGING YOUR LIFE.yOUR INTELLIGENCE COMES THROUGH VERY CLEARLY IN YOUR POST.yES,TAKE IT UP WITH job centre supervisor.There are always other options.

Oh,and strongly encourage you to joing the student threads.Very supportive.