I'm sorry to have to ask but how easy to fake it? (depression)

[Dangerspouse]

I really am not enjoying posting this and hope you don't think me insensitive posting here, but I have in the past suffered severe depression myself and have a very close friend who has also.

The problem is I have a close relative who suffers with ME - was diagnosed years ago. This person also suffers clinical depression, anxiety attacks and now it seems manic depression. This person is very intelligent and has read a lot about depression and other related subjects. My problem is that just lately said person seems to be playing everyone around them. Acting spoilt child like. If anyone around is having more attention then "side effects" of AD's start showing up - tears, manic behaviour, panic attacks, walking out etc.

I know this sounds like I'm being terribly harsh, but I've been depressed, to the point of suicide attempts and hospital admittance. I just find everything about this persons actions manipulative and quite fake. "Can't decide whether I want to comit suicide or not" was something I had to hear earlier.

So is it far fetched or callous of me to think that maybe this person is faking? Could it be possible?

On reading your post and, obviously, your account and view of this person's behaviour, it does sound manipulative.

BUT (there's always one of those, isn't there?)

I don't subscribe to the 'if you can say it, you're not feeling it' view. I imagine that, in a depressed state, there may be a feeling of being 'outside and looking in' so that, if this makes sense, a person can report suicidal feelings as calmly as if reading from a newspaper, for example.

Difficult to say. But why would your relative want to?

Of course its possible. Your relative may well experience depression and ME but that doesn't stop them being manipulative and attention seeking. Are they under the care of the local mental health team? Or is the manic depression self diagnosed? I'd have a chat with relative and explain that you find their behaviour unacceptable and difficult to tolerate due to your own experiences. Mental health problems are no excuse for downright bad behaviour!

Hi, thanks for your replies. All your opinions are much appreciated.

It's a really difficult situation with more developments today that have been really awful. I am now stepping away from the situation and letting people closer to said person deal with the problem. After todays downright cruel behaviour I am pretty convinced that much of the behaviour is to get attention/reactions from people.

I do also, however, feel that my relative is ill and needs help - but is using the illness to get away with bad behaviour as you said mmelody - no excuse.

cornsilk, will explain a little... relative is not blood relative and was brought up as child who was given everything, every need/want met, by a very wealthy family. Did not react well to being away at boarding school (which is where depression stems from) and has even now (aged 30) father round little finger. Parents have been living some distance away for a while and have not visited recently, everything has been fine. This week however has been awful, two birthdays in the family - one quite big event too and all attention has been on other people. Said relative has ruined every event by sulky/tantrumy/manic behaviour.

Hope that explains a bit as to why I'm wondering. Thanks again for your responses.