Daughter won't talk to me about her mental health

[meganwarnock]

My daughter has gone to great lengths to hide her struggles with mental health from me, including making doctors appointments behind my back and leaving school for counselling. I just want to help her but she keeps asking me to let her deal with it herself and brings up times that i've been detrimental to her health and well-being. What should I do ??

You should do what she asks. I felt similar about my mother and although it must be hard for you, pushing it doesn't seem to be helping matters. Just let her know you would be happy to listen without judging if she needs and be glad she's taking steps to deal with it herself.

Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone impartial than someone you are close to. I would give her space for now.

What a brave and sensible young girl. She wants and needs to work this out for herself and you should respect her wishes.

How old is she?

How old is she?

Depend how old she is really but I would say stay out of it. You don't want her to stop seeking help because you'll insist on knowing. I'm keeping it from my mum too. I just don't want to deal with her reaction and questions. It's private.

She's almost 16

I don't know how we can help you, to be honest. You can't force someone to share this and if you keep pushing she'll retreat further and further. Surely that's obvious?

The only way she might trust you is if you respect her wishes. Give her time to deal with it and let her feel you are listening to what she says and she may feel comfortable opening up.

Do what she asks.
Let her know you are there for her and she can lean on you if she needs but otherwise let it be.
Forcing your involvement could discourage her from seeking further medical advice and counselling.

Tell her how impressed you are that she's looking after herself this way, and understand if she's not comfortable to talk, but you'll there for her no matter what.

It must be very worrying that she has mentioned you in her troubles, and I can only suggest you encourage her to get it out however she can so you can do things differently if you can, we can't always, but at least you would could come to a place of understanding of each other better

'Behind your back' feels a bit loaded.
How have you reacted when she's mentioned things detrimental to her health and well-being. What sort of things? If you feel OK to say?