help me help my depressed dh please

[fimblespants]

He has been quite badly depressed for about a month. Came home early from our holidays, is not eating at all, not sleeping really. He is very needy and irritable and the dds are very confused. He saw the dr anout 2and half weeks ago, was presrcibed a low dose of propranalol (?) but I'm not sure this is enough. I'm not the most patient individual a,d I am really struggling to stay sympaathetic/positive/ok for the kids.

ADs do take a while to kick in fully. Have you noticed any difference? Presumably your dh will be going back to the doctor to review fairly soon?

It can be very tough to live with someone with depression - do come here and download when you need to - and there are loads of people around better placed to advise you than me, but MN's quiet at the moment.

Do you think it might help if you were able to release your dh from anything he would normally do (you may already have done this anyway)? Remind yourself he's ill, and see if it gives you any more patience for the situation. You may also need to explain to him that while you're carrying all the practical stuff, you need him to do as much as he can not to express his irritation in front of the children.

propananol (not sure I've spelt it right either!) is a beta blocker so not an anti depressant. It's used (in this case) for anxiety - was he getting panicky?

I think you need to speak to him and try and persuade him to go back to the doctors.

Sorry. Made an assumption. Thanks for the correction foxinsocks.

oh no, I wouldn't expect anyone to know that. I've just been given it before for a flight abroad so knew what it was that's all!

He saw dr again on weds (2wks after 1st visit) and was given a month more of sane stuff. Dr says he wants to avoid giving him s/thing he'll be on for life.
Re oractical stuff, I'm already doing it all. He says he can't cope with kids even for 10 mins if I opo to corner shop.

did you go to the doctors with him? because it doesn't sound like he's giving him (the doc) the full picture

and most people don't stay on ADs for life

is he working, your dh?

It doesn't surprise me that you're already doing all the practical stuff, fimblespants. Do you have friends around to give you a hand?

Hi fimblepants
My dh has suffered from depression on and off for the last 3 years, he is on AD anh has been on these ones for 10 months, most AD's take 4-6 weeks to kick in, im not sure about beta blockers maybe they take efect straight away? Maybe AD's are the answer? (get him to see GP again)

Some days i find realy hard when dh is having a bad day (he does have good days), i also struggle to stay sympathetic and i offten feel like saying 'for god sake pull your self together' as i have never had depression it is hard to understand how he is feeling. I try my best to be patient with him but its very hard

Does he find it hard to talk? let him know you are there if he wants to talk even if its about something silly.

He's self employed. Hardly been at work for last 2 wks.
I'm not sure he's been entire;ly honest with GP either. I want him to go back on Mon, I'd like to go to but I can't force the issue, can I?

Thanks for support. Have to log off now but will check this thread later.

Marne - God I want to shake hima nmd say just that - and its only been a month!

I'm a horrible peron aren't i?

no, but you could tell him you want to come along to be supportive iyswim. Perhaps if you played that card, he'd go for it?

Failing that (if he's not keen on going), I'd honestly book an appointment with his doc yourself (before he goes) - I don't think they can discuss him but you could tell the doctor what's going on and how worried you are. Then perhaps the next time he sees the doc, they'd have a clearer picture.

Sorry you are going through this.

No your not a horrible person, i can offten say horrible things to dh (my way of trying to get through to him)

I am a positive person (always happy) ,i find it so hard to understand how/why he feels deppresed, sometimes it feels like he wants me to feel sorry for him (i do feel sorry for what has happened to him as a child) but sometimes i just want to say 'get over it and get on with your life', i know he can't get over it but i am very proud of how far he has come over the last year, he has had some help through the GP and now has more good days than bad.

Good to hear that there will be good days.
Glad your dh is doing well Marne.

(This is sassy, BTW, using an alias cos some RL friends use this site and I haven't talked to them yet.)