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PTSD Emergency csection and second fears support chat

8 replies

Ilovesuperman · 25/10/2018 07:58

Hello. I had my son 5 years ago, suffered severe pre eclampsia luckily caught before fits started and was given steroids, drips and an emergency csection at 36 weeks to save us both. I remember the csection in parts and being so scared I was shaking (the anthetist said this was the spinal) I know how I felt. I remember someone saying they were rummaging in my handbag and taking water (I was so tired 2:50 am and kept in from 10am the morning of) after I didn't see my son for 45mins and he was incubated with antibiotics. I was kept in intensive care unit for an extra day to monitor me. There were two nurses all the time. I kind of remember parts and not others and the timeline is still fragile and not linear. When the breast feeding team came to see me there were so many wires and drips and oxygen etc they had to come back. I still can't look at too many photos from back then as it reminds me of what I went through. I have been diagnosed with PTSD after and attended three very good sessions through the NHS. I couldn't get to the others due to childcare.

Anyways...I am now 6 weeks pregnant and in a huge panic mostly at night but if I think about it too much. I have questions about everything will I need a other csec? Could my uterus rupture? Will an elective ease the mind of another emergency? I am starting feel very anxious!
Thank you if you have read this far.

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Ilovesuperman · 25/10/2018 18:00

Anyone?

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HaulingFreight · 25/10/2018 18:02

I can't offer any advice in regards to your section, sorry. All I can advise is you ask to be referred to a consultant obstetrician and discuss all your fears and questions with them and have as much of a plan in place that you can. I hope your pregnancy goes well and you have a less traumatic birth this time around Flowers

orangesandlemons12 · 25/10/2018 18:04

I don't really have any useful advice, but I'm hoping my comment will bump your thread and that someone more helpful will be along soon.

I too had an emergency section, although it was the least 'urgent' category of emergency. If I ever have another child I will request a c section, as I don't think I could face it after last time.



Ilovesuperman · 25/10/2018 18:14

Thanks for replying it's much appreciated I wasn't sure if it had showed! I'm new here so need to see if there's another post somewhere that's already created etc.

Thank you again

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chipsandgin · 25/10/2018 19:09

I had a very traumatic crash section (with seconds left to save us both) and felt similar to you for years afterwards, it was horrific and I underestimated the affect it had enormously.

When I was 6 months pregnant next time I had a special meeting with the anaesthetist arranged prior to my planned section (this was also 5 years later) which really helped as he talked me through the entire process.

The planned section was amazing, pain free, calm and just brilliant (I believe there may have been some calming drugs involved, they phrased it differently - but whatever it was all the fear went) - the staff were pre-warned of my previous experience and were incredible and the whole thing really helped put the first experience behind me. Also I now can focus on how incredibly lucky I was to survive the first time and that the outcome was positive for my child, rather than the horror of it all.

I would recommend sharing your fears with the medical professionals and asking for reassurance and understanding, your feelings are completely understandable but your second time will be so different. Good luck Flowers

Ilovesuperman · 25/10/2018 19:52

Thank you so much I just wanted to hear positive stories and not more horror stories (been there done that!) Why when people find out your pregnant do they recall their births? I've never done that to anyone and would only if someone asked.

Again, thank you for the kind words and reassurance.

Crispsandgin thank you for the advice :0)

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LittleGreenStar · 25/10/2018 19:53

Hi OP,

I also had PTSD after a difficult birth. Like you it was when I got pregnant again that the anxiety really flared up and I became really anxious about giving birth (and being pregnant generally).

A few things that helped me:

Going through my birth notes from the first time. In my area they call it birth reflections, though it might be something different where you are. I found it surprisingly helpful - like you my memories were really fragmented and patchy, and I couldn't look at pictures/talk about the birth without getting upset. Going through the notes with a consultant midwife helped my reconstruct what happened, check some of my memories, and (though it sounds cheesy) it really switched me from feeling like the whole thing was a failure to feeling very proud of getting through it

Psychologist/counsellor. Saw someone to work through how to deal with panic and how I was feeling about the birth, and do some proper birth planning about different possible scenarios and what was important to me. She was also the one who pushed me to do birth reflections; I was sceptical but so glad she did.
Made a world of difference to my ability to manage the anxiety and panic.

Specialist midwife service. Again don't know if every area has this, but PTSD diagnosis meant I got a designated midwife who I saw more regularly, and same person every time - meant I didn't have to explain the background at every appointment, and had someone who "got" to talk through issues and options with.

Planned c section. Not right for everyone, but was for me - and knowing I had the option of a planned, calm birth helped me through the more panicky moments of pregnancy. Even if you don't go for this, I would say an early conversation with your midwife about what the options are, when decisions would be made, etc, might help you feel more in control

But basically I would say that I am so, so glad I told my GP how anxious I was feeling early on in the pregnancy, because she was great and was a gateway to a lot of good perinatal mental health services in my area that I really didn't know existed beforehand, and which were really helpful. So it is worth talking to someone soon.

Good luck. If it makes you feel better, while it was a hard pregnancy the birth this time round was about a million times better than last time. So it can and does get better, it doesn't have to be like last time  And congratulations!

Ilovesuperman · 25/10/2018 19:53

Are you UK based ? I am and I am thankful that I am alive and I have a healthy son although I was in a bad place after !

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