Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Not coping

4 replies

Yorkshiremum17 · 24/10/2018 20:16

I know I should be coping, on the surface everything is fine and dandy, underneath I'm not coping. There's been nothing really terrible happen but over the last 3 years just a accumulation of small things. Stressful getting son into secondary school involving appeals etc, Went back to full time work after 11 years part time (same company)learning a brand new complex role in a different city so lots of travelling involved. Just got qualified and was then made redundant after 30 years.

It took me 6 months to find work on less money and in that time we had to have the bathroom and boiler replaced and work done outside the house.

Came into some money, bought our freehold had some more work done in the house, didn't go to plan was very stressful.

During all this, my husband was on and off ill for months and eventually got diagnosed with CFS/ME. He then had to have an operation on his elbow for something unrelated which made his ME worse and I had to drive him everywhere for months as he was unable to. In the meantime he's losing pay because of all the time he's taking off.

Work has got progressively busier and more stressful, my son has changed school again, I'm struggling with my weight, my husband s health is so up and down, I'm having to do pretty much everything at home cleaning, cooking, shopping because dh just doesn't have the energy. My dad's been in and out of hospital, my mum's had a bit of a breakdown, they've moved house, My best friend had a cancer scare, a close friend died suddenly and unexpectedly on top of all that I'm worried about money.

I can't switch off, I am not sleeping well, I feel sick and anxious all the time, I can't relax, if I relax it will all fall apart. I can't stop thinking of my friend who died, he was young but had a hidden health problem, I have a son, what if that happens to me. I just want to disappear but I can't do that to my family but in other respects they would be better off without me. I just want it all to go away. I want it all to stop.

OP posts:
Lovingit81 · 24/10/2018 20:27

Oh I'm so sorry for all your stresses and your loss. You say that it's nothing much but that seems an awful lot to me and you have reached your limit by the sound of it. I'm so sorry for you.

First of all I would talk to your doctor. They could offer you some counselling and cbt therapy which would help with the grief, anxiety and coping with the day to day stresses.

Secondly I would try and write down all your stresses and deal with them one at a time.

Thirdly I would move heaven and earth to carve out some 'you' time to exercise both for head space and well being as it will make a huge difference. It will also help you sleep better which in turn will help you cope with everything a lot better.

And last but not least I would give yourself a huge hug. You are not alone. It sounds like you are in a highly stressful place and it will get better. It's totally natural to feel anxious about death when I have experienced grief. Sending you hugs x

Lovingit81 · 24/10/2018 21:40

Hi OP, I've just read your post again and feel worried about your last paragraph. Please see your GP. Your family would never be better off without you....that is a dark thought. You have been brave posting on here but I urge you to talk to someone. X

Lovingit81 · 30/10/2018 21:01

Yorkshire mum how are you doing? X

Yorkshiremum17 · 31/10/2018 05:22

Thanks for the message, still the same will try and see doctor.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page