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Help me

2 replies

Coco224 · 24/10/2018 15:56

I’m a regular poster but have changed my name for this. Basically I’m just feeling extremely low, not quite suicidal but feeling like running away.
Ive written a list of the reasons why
None of the primary school mumslike me. Because of that I feel like it’s meant B(ds1) doesn’t know any of their children
I’m so fat, lazy and unhealthy. I wish I could be like I used to be (I’m 6 stone heavier than I was 5 years ago, pre dc’s)
I so want to be liked
My children don’t enjoy being with me
My family think I’m rude
I try to be fair but always end up disappointing people
Nothing makes me happy
I have no one to talk to
I feel like people are talking about me behind my back and think I’m strange
I think about how much easier it would be for everyone else if I wasn’t here - I bring no benefit to anyone, I don’t bring in any money, if I wasn’t here it would make no difference. I don’t make anyone’s life better or easier or funni
I tried counselling but it made no difference. I’ve tried anti depressants and they made me feel worse. What else is there to do.
I feel like I’m so good at hiding how I really feel, that I never fully let my guard down and let anyone know how bad it is. And I don’t know what to do about that

OP posts:
MrsWagnerpies · 27/10/2018 22:11

Hi Coco
That all sounds really difficult. I'm sorry you've not had any replies. I'm not sure I can help but sometimes it's good just to be heard.

I wonder if it might help just to focus on whatever feels most important. Sometimes the big picture is too much.

Can you find little ways to enjoy DC. They're young aren't they? Maybe a walk in park or playground... Something easy to join in. Its difficult to role play dinosaurs or whatever when feeling low! Or cuddle up with popcorn and tv. Sometimes even short times each day of putting things aside and being with them helps reconnect.

And can you do a little thing for you? I started the day feeling shit. I've tidied my bedroom and changed the bedclothes so bed feels more like relaxing than wallowing. Can you start small? A big mug of tea and a magazine or radio programme for 15 mins after DC in bed. Or what works for you?

Re primary school, ime children will make friends regardless. For all the parents who are sociable at school, play dates etc, there will be many working parents you won't see. The children manage fine.

Is it worth trying a different counsellor?

Urgh. ..sorry, I'm trying to fix things when maybe you just need acknowledgement. Flowers

LakeIsle48 · 28/10/2018 16:18

Hi Coco I am just messaging to say hi. You are going through a very difficult time. When life's as hard as you are getting it now it's time to go back to your GP and tell her honestly how you are feeling. The info in your post says it all & your doctor needs to know this. You are feeling overwhelmed and it's understandable, life as a mother can be VERY VERY difficult. Promise me you will make an appointment.

I am not unwell but half the time I think people don't like me. I've put on weight, my clothes are too tight and I can't afford new clothes. Life can be truly shit!!! Instead of doing the sensible thing and choosing healthy options I'm mainly eating crisp sandwiches & drinking wine.

I'm telling you this because you are not alone!!!!!

Don't feel like you're different, most people feel like this at times, in fact a lot of the time. Your kids intrinsically love you. Accept you are loveable and allow yourself to love them. Take them out for a little walk. Put on cartoons, give them some treats. You don't have to be mum of the year.

You sound like a nice person to me, just a typical mum under pressure. No one ever really tells peoe how valued they are but you need to believe they would be devastated if you ended your life. It isn't the answer for you. Ring Lifeline today. I find them very helpful.

There are very few people living life to their full capacity. We are all just struggling along hoping for the best. No joke but it can be very problematic being 'in' with the school mum's. I hated the dynamics in that group.

You need to like yourself. So what if you're carrying extra weight, so effin what, most people are. Please see your doctor & keep posting. Flowers

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