Hi Coco I am just messaging to say hi. You are going through a very difficult time. When life's as hard as you are getting it now it's time to go back to your GP and tell her honestly how you are feeling. The info in your post says it all & your doctor needs to know this. You are feeling overwhelmed and it's understandable, life as a mother can be VERY VERY difficult. Promise me you will make an appointment.
I am not unwell but half the time I think people don't like me. I've put on weight, my clothes are too tight and I can't afford new clothes. Life can be truly shit!!! Instead of doing the sensible thing and choosing healthy options I'm mainly eating crisp sandwiches & drinking wine.
I'm telling you this because you are not alone!!!!!
Don't feel like you're different, most people feel like this at times, in fact a lot of the time. Your kids intrinsically love you. Accept you are loveable and allow yourself to love them. Take them out for a little walk. Put on cartoons, give them some treats. You don't have to be mum of the year.
You sound like a nice person to me, just a typical mum under pressure. No one ever really tells peoe how valued they are but you need to believe they would be devastated if you ended your life. It isn't the answer for you. Ring Lifeline today. I find them very helpful.
There are very few people living life to their full capacity. We are all just struggling along hoping for the best. No joke but it can be very problematic being 'in' with the school mum's. I hated the dynamics in that group.
You need to like yourself. So what if you're carrying extra weight, so effin what, most people are. Please see your doctor & keep posting. 