How has having DC affected your mental health?

[PoesyCherish]

Hello all. I've been thinking about this a lot. It's all hypothetical at the moment as DP isn't ready to have a DC yet. I am very broody but I'd be worried about the impact having a baby would have on my mental health. I have depression and anxiety and struggle a lot with negative thoughts. I have done for more than 10 years so that's unlikely to change any time soon.

I think for the next few years at least though most likely forever DP is going to be earning a substantial amount more than me so it'd be down to me to take the bulk of the maternity leave purely from a financial perspective.

What has been the impact of having DC been on your mental health? Has it made everything a million times worse or have they pretty much stayed the same or even got better?

I used to be the most laid back person now with 2 DC 1 and 3 I have become a shouty stress head!

I dont even know why I dont feel like this all the time but I still do sometimes im just sick of coming last even with my self its shit.

But the kids are worth it

It’s totally changed me. I wouldn’t change them for the world, but my mental health is awful

To be honest, my mental health took a big hit in the first couple of months. I’m usually ok, but the sleep deprivation, stress and hormonal changes left me on my knees.

I didn’t have postnatal depression (I don’t think), just the shock of the life change and strain of caring for a baby made me feel very ‘off’ for a few months. Then I got sort of back to normal, then suddenly I was chomping at the bit to get back to work as I got fed up of the tedium.

About to have the second and bracing myself for the same. I only really get fully back to normal once I had stopped breastfeeding and the baby slept through.

I’d say: brace yourself for a big hit to your mental health. But, there’s help available, and it’s not forever (well, the sleep deprivation and overwheleming challenge of caring for a new baby anyway), but your lovely child IS with your forever. So: think carefully and be aware hat it can really impact your mental health, but then I imagine so can not having children when you desperately want them

I've had low level anxiety and mild depression for much of my life, but it became so much worse after I had DS. What's difficult is that it's really hard to distinguish what is normal adjustment to parenthood, sleep deprivation, recovery from childbirth etc, and what is more serious PND/ PNA. It took me a year of struggling on before I sought help. Things are much better now but I'm pretty sure my anxiety/ hypervigilence will be elevated for the rest of my life. I don't ever feel relaxed the way I used to, pre DC. However- he's the best thing in my life and I love him to bits.

Worse, definitely worse.

I've probably always had mild mental health issues but have been functioning without issue. Since having kids it's been really hard. I've been on and off antidepressants for the 5 years my kids have been here and have had serious intentions of suicide.

The first year was absolutely horrendous. My DC had various issues (premature, milk allergy, wheat intolerance, sensory issues) and it was just horrific dealing with a screaming child all day who then didn't sleep at night.

It's better now although still tough. It's made me less anxious about a lot of things (going to places on my own, which I used to find sometimes difficult, but now much easier). I'm more aware of my mental state and ask for help when I need it.

Even with the easiest baby going I think you need to be prepared for the first few months at least to be a real struggle, and to make sure you have a good support network around you.

I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression this year, for which I am currently having CBT. I wouldn't necessarily say that this is because I have children as they are one of the few things that give me pure joy in my life.

I have, however, found that having children has very isolating. I struggled with baby groups, abandoned existing friendships with childless friends, stopped working so often had no daily contact with anyone apart from the kids. My experience is perhaps a bit more extreme because I have an autistic child which has made everything harder and socialising often impossible, and meant that even though I knew the pitfalls, I absolutely couldn't avoid them. We only managed to start having babysitters and doing anything just by ourselves when she was 5!

I suppose I think you could safeguard your mental health by planning ahead but in my case, this was impossible to do. I'm only just getting the physical and headspace to focus time and attention on my own mental health now that she is 7 and my youngest, 5.

My mental health is awful - not sure how much of this is because I'm not sleeping at the moment (teething, regression) and juggling going back full time to work, and so hopefully will get better once all this is over. To be honest I think most people say the first year is tough because you're not only coping with a life changing event but having to cope on little sleep which can cause mental health type conditions.