I need to vent. I'm depressed. My mood has been really low for the last year to 18 months. Some health issues and my work situation have contributed but they have changed for the better recently. My moods haven't.
I'm struggling with low self esteem, feeling like I'm bottom of my own and every one else's priorities. I'm trying so hard to change that but I just feel like something always comes along to kick me back down and put me in my place. I don't know why I bother.
Honestly, every time recently I do something for myself, something happens that makes me feel like it was pointless. I take a day off from the house work to spend on myself and then the next day there's someone who needs to come around to the house to fix something and so it's a mad dash to do the housework. I started a new job, got all settled in and kids at a new childminder just for them to turn around and say they can't have the kids anymore. I left work early the other day to have an hour or so alone before DH and kids came home. The next day my youngest was ill and I had no flexi time spare to leave early to collect him. The second I started reading at the weekend my mum phoned needing me and that sent me into a right downward spiral. The final straw now is I went to bed early tonight to have a good rest and I've been up since midnight in the toilet with D&V.
I'm trying so hard to stay positive, to get better and feel better but I just don't know how I can when life keeps kicking me down.