Health anxiety

[Malibucyprus]

Hi, I know from searching that health anxiety has been discussed many times on here, but not recently, and I didn't want to comment on a Zombie thread.

I've had health anxiety on and off now for about 2 years, each episode usually starts up from reading cancer stories in the paper, or seeing something on the news.

I have problems breathing, feel as though I cannot fill my lungs, then my chest aches because I'm forcing breaths. Last October I was on holiday with my parents, and found myself unable to swallow my food, it was definitely a mind block rather than a physical feeling, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't swallow. I hardly ate anything, and actually lost weight whilst away (all inc. usually come home half a stone heavier) I should mention that I have a great relationship with my Mom, but I do find my anxiety heightened around her, she is very highly strung, and I think this rubs off on me.

After holiday, I managed to start eating again, must admit I no longer eat meat (fear of choking now) and have a mind block with bread, so avoid that too.

I then had 2 months of feeling 'normal' then came Christmas, and in the run up, I had problems with my breathing again, chest pains, swallowing issues etc...

I thought I had breast cancer a few months ago, horrendously painful breasts, and lumps under armpits, which I think was down to changing my contraceptive pill. This did pass after 2 weeks.

I am going through a particularly bad time at the moment with my HA, this time I'm convinced I have oral cancer, my tongue just doesn't feel right, I've checked and double checked my mouth and cannot see anything untoward. I then visited nomorepanic and started reading up other peoples symptoms, and now I have neck ache, feeling like a lump in my throat, heartburn, tummy ache.....etc

Are all of these really a figment of my imagination??? Does anyone else read about an illness or disease, and then somehow develop the same physical symptoms??

On top of this, I have a massive fear of going to the Dr's, I avoid them like the plague, I'm not one for asking for tests etc, I'd rather not know! And I'm frightened to see my GP regarding my HA in case he suggests physical tests first, before dealing with my HA.

I think this all stems from the birth of my 2 DC, they were both born prematurely, my youngest in particular was very poorly, and in hospital for 3 months. When they were little I worried about them, I think as they're getting older (14 & 11) and I can begin to worry less about them, and more about me!!

I'm sorry for such a long post, I've tried to keep things as short as possible, I guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to. I have never confided to anyone in RL, even my DP of 7 years doesn't have a clue I suffer like this, he probably just thinks I'm a mardy cow, as I do tend to go within myself, I go very quiet, and sulky when my HA flares up.

I didn't find nomorepanic very helpful, I found people either totally dismissed my feelings, or my posts were ignored (I only posted twice on there, so wasn't a nuisance)

that sounds awful for you. i wish i could say something insightful and brilliant to take this away from you. health anxiety is horrendous. have something similar and like you I didn't find no panic useful at all. how are you today?

Hi Malibu - I could have written your post. Health anxiety on and off since having DCs, fear of cancer which is triggered in similar fashion. I am going through it now after being quite well for a while. Only difference is that I need to check it out with the doctor. I was also worried about oral cancer until my recent dental appointment. I can go a few years between anxieties, but it was pretty bad when Dcs were small. However last 4-5 months have been worst ever. I think it is a combination of nearing menopause and aging, and hearing about someone who's ill (recently quite a few people).
I'm taking medication to take the edge off my nerves. Like you, my mother's a nervous person, which I can see now I learned from her. Perhaps books on anxiety may help?

Thank you both for replying

Not really sure how I’m feeling today, I’d say I do feel slightly better if I’m honest.

I’ve joined a Facebook page for HA and strangely it makes me feel slightly better knowing that there are other people going through the same.

I’ve also started an online NHS programme called Silvercloud, I don’t think much of it at the moment but it’s early days. I really wish I could speak to my GP but I just can’t bring myself to go.

This all stems from being a massive worrier, if I could worry less, I know my anxiety and symptoms would improve. I’d love to be one of those care-free, happy go lucky types....how do you worry less?!

I have absolutely no idea but if you find out let me know! glad today feels a bit brighter. when im feeling really rubbish- which is a lot these days - I sometimes break the day into 5 minute chunks and try and get through each bit at a time. am happy to chat anytime.

Sorry to hear you are struggling. A friend of mine had bad health anxiety and did a course of CBT specifically for this. She found it helped enormously and her physical symptoms also went.

@Sally I think the Silvercloud course I've just started is CBT related, like I say I don't think much of it yet, I'm only a week in, and appreciate I have to stick with it. I wish I could go to my GP for a referral, but I'm too frightened.

I've considered paying for Relate counselling, I know they wouldn't usually deal with HA but I know that a lot of my issues stem from some of the relationships/events in my life, so maybe talking about those, will relieve some of my worries.

@Baldwin that's a good idea, breaking the day down. I'm trying to set myself a time limit in between checking lymph nodes etc we go on holiday on Friday, and my anxiety always goes through the roof when I have to plan for something, so I know that's playing a part in this weeks episodes. The good thing is, I have a week ahead of me in the sunshine, just DP & me trying to focus on the positives.
Thank you for chatting to me, it really does help. I haven't been able to confide in anyone in RL.