Will it get better...

[HocusPocus2]

Everyday I say to myself be positive.
And I do really try specially now that I have a 5month old.
My partner and I don't really talk to much and relationship isn't looking great and my family at home are not close.
Childhood was traumatic and I don't speak to my mother.My dad died when I was a baby.
I have no friends and I spend every single day by myself for the last two or three years.Family members that do call me ask how I am getting on and if I have met new friends and I lie and say I do..And it kills me.

I see how other families do so much for eachother and when I go for a walk and stop to get a coffee and see women meeting up with friends for a coffee I wish I could have the same.

When I gave birth it was just me and my partner..I was happy because I was lucky to have my DD.But everyone in my ward had visitors we didn't..
Its not easy being a parent specially with no help.
No matter how nice I am to people,I feel like I am not interesting or important enough..

I feel like I am always going to be a loner..
Please if anyone posts a comment don't leave harsh comments as I am feeling on edge...

I’m so sorry you feel this way I think maybe you should go to GP and sort out some sort of therapy might help to talk to someone. And maybe go to a baby group and try and meet other mums or join a fb page. I’m sure you’re not boring. I have very few friends, I only have 1 friend that lives near me so I know the feeling. Xx

And I’m about to have my first baby and I worry that I will become very depressed if I have no friends to come and visit

Hi Rose thanks for you're post and congratulations I was a bit depressed before having DD.
But when she arrived I was happy to finally have her in my arms.Yes the start was very hard with a few sleepless nights but it got better...When she smiles she melts my heart..

I just have days where I feel just worthless to others...and start thinking about the past and it just really upsets me.And the only reason I think about the past is because I don't have anyone to talk to..

I have thought about therapy but I always distance myself from it because I don't see how it would change...

It has knocked my confidence.

Aww thank you I can’t wait to meet my little boy and see what he looks like! I know how you feel I’ve got some troubles in my family and I’m finding that I’ve been having really bad nightmares about things that have happened in the past. But you should definitely find a way to make some more even just 1 good friend! Will make life so much better to just sit and chat to someone rather then keep it in. X

Hi op. Have you tried going to baby groups? Everyone tends to be in the same boat at these groups, everyone is looking for new friends to spend a bit of time with. If you could be brave enough to try a few groups and say a friendly hello to a few other mums, you could find that you're starting to make new friends.