This might be long. I've NC for this and I don't want to go too much in depth as can be outing.
I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I have 3 DC. After my second DC I was really bad PND to the point where I was self harming, I was cutting myself and I OD'd on my medication at the time. DC3 is 10 months old and I'm suffering again, I don't feel as bad as last time but I'm scared and the thoughts are there again, please note I am seeking medical help for this. Lately I've been feeling so low that I'm terrified of having another break down. I break down to the point that I can't control my actions in the sense that I upset the people I love. I'm currently going through another one. I feel lonely, I feel that no one cares. I'm lying in bed crying as I write this. I'm at a loss, I think my DC deserve a better mum than me. I'm just bad for everyone and i feel they're better off if I weren't around. Feel free to ask any questions even if I end up drop feeding as my heads a mess so I don't see how any of this will make sense really.
I just need to hear that I'm not in my own, I've turned here to seek some words that can maybe uplift me. Maybe that's asking too much, I'm probably attention seeking. I'm just so low I can't stop crying