How to support family member with depression

[piplette]

I've just found out that my brother has been diagnosed with depression.

Apparently he's been on sick leave for over a month and according to his partner is spending his time sitting around drinking which is unusual for him.

I reached out to him and he's downplayed it - says it's just stress, he hates his job/boss and it just taking time out while he finds a new job.

I've told him I'm there for him and have tried to protect him from our meddling mother who likes to make everyone elses problem her own and has already given him a hard time for not telling her.

How do I help him? I want to let him know I'm there for him without him feeling pressured.

We've recently had a close friend take their own life so things are more delicate than usual and everyone is a bit out of sorts so it's trying to strike the balance.

As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety and whose mother sounds quite like yours, I felt/feel embarrassed to reach out to close family members and relied/rely much more heavily on Dh and close friends. I felt/feel a responsibility to protect family from how bad I feel and often down play it. I think this is almost as much for my sake as theirs as I can't handle their feelings as well as my own.
What has helped from family is texts that don't require a response. Some examples:
It's fine if you don't want to talk about it but know I'm here if you do.
I don't expect a reply but just know I love you
Hope today has been a good day
Just checking in to say I'm always here
Etc
Not every day maybe but it means a lot to not feel the burden of expectation but to know I'm thought about.
Your brother may be completely different but that's my perspective
Best wishes to you and your brother

I agree with the supportive, but not demanding communications as described by the previous poster.
Also, please help your brother to address the drinking issue - drowning sorrows will simply feed depression and things will only spiral downwards. The drinking will be a quick fix for him to feel better temporarily but will make things progressively worse. Tricky cycle to break.

Check out Blurt, google it. They have some great advice for supporting people

Perfectly timed - my sister is also struggling with depression - has done off and on her entire adult life, but seems in a particularly bad place at the moment. Has talked openly about suicide but refuses to go back to the GP. I don't think it helps that she won't eat if she's depressed or in a bad mood - i's almost like a control mechanism. At my wits end to know how best to support her so shamelessly piggybacking on your thread in the hope of any advice.

As with drinking, not eating will also obviously not help the situation. However, I understand what it is like to have no appetite whatsoever. I found that I was more likely to eat things that others cooked for me and (if I could face it) going out for small meals/snacks was more successful. Good luck and hope you can tempt her into eating a little of something.

Is your brother on any medication, OP? Or had any previous episodes of depression?

It seems as if he wants to be left alone to deal with whatevevr is going on, if hes been off for over a month already and you have only just found out.