Anyone managed to improve relationships through counselling

[Whitegrenache]

Had a shit few weeks and feeling very low
So please be kind.

Started a new job in September and lasted 3 weeks before the essentially "sacked"
Me for not being a good fit with the company- feedback was I can
Across as disruptive. Was given no further feedback than that.
I was devastated and tbh couldn't really put my finger on anything that I could
Say was disruptive but did feel I had high levels of anxiety in the first few weeks and generally feel that I wasn't good enough for the job- bit of imposter syndrome if you like.
Well I pulled myself Together and offered to do some volunteering for a local Charity that my very best friend is involved with- did 3 days there were I worked my hardest and threw myself into it (working with horses and people with learning difficulties) o also noticed that these vulnerable people were not being adequately supervised (in my opinion) and feedback to my friend (she is the boss) that I had some concerns.
Anyway I then got a rather lengthy text from her basically telling me to butt out, that I was rude. She also said my enthusiasm was over the top and reading between the lines pissed the staff off. She told me I was no longer welcome to volunteer- I was extremely distressed with this text and the next day sent some Flowers to say sorry for upsetting her and the staff.

I immediately contacted my counsellor as I was feeling so low I even considered (for a mili second) that I am so fucking useless at everything that I may as well be gone. However I would Never ever do that but felt as low as I ever have.

The counseller seems to think that maybe I am having some relationship issues - I basically have very good intentions of trying to help people but I am obviously coming across as over powering, controlling and intrusive - this is my reflection post counselling-

My question is this- has anyone either through counselling or alone, identified a personality trait that is causing problems and done something about it?

I feel like I am totally on the scrap heap both in my professional and personal life.

I know I need to keep swimming (metaphorically) but I feel like crawling to my bed and never ever coming out!

I work at a place that has a high turnover of temporary staff during peak periods.

All I will say is that the ones who last longest / get set on are the ones who don't tell the established staff what to do or who attempt to come across as "know it alls' from the word go. The ones who get on with us best are the ones who work out quickly how things are done round here and exactly what the social pecking order is, and act accordingly.

We have one temp here who told our supervisor what she should be doing the other day - said supervisor has been doing this job for 30 years plus. That was a proper 'pin drop" moment right there! Everyone is sick to death of this temp already as she's bossy and controlling.
She's only been here six weeks - I'd be amazed if she lasts much longer!

You may have been entirely correct that there was inadequate supervision of service users in your volunteer post but in all honesty you overstepped the mark in saying so. If you are being brought in as a trouble-shooter or manager then of course you would suggest improvements, but otherwise you need to quietly keep your head down and get the work done whilst working out the team dynamics.

TL:DR version - don't tell people what to do when you're new!!!

Yes, to answer your question.
I can come across as bossy, domineering and bitchy! I look back on my old self sometimes and cringe.
I’ve drastically changed my life, personality and relationships with those around me over the past few years.
You can do this - create the best possible you