Living with an adult child with borderline personality disorder

[SSSB]

Does anyone have any experience of this? My 20 year old has left uni and come home to live and she is very difficult. I am struggling to cope and need some ideas. All my GP could offer was ‘take good care of yourself’.

In what way is she difficult? Was she like this before she went to uni or has something happened while she was away?

Would you be able to get some counselling? I know you're not the one who is unwell but it might help you to come up with strategies to manage the situation?

Your daughter might be feeling very upset about having left university, about her future, her social life, about her future career etc. and at 20 everything is big and overwhelming even if you don't have BPD to contend with. With BPD I'm sure her emotions are 10x more intense and she's probably struggling to cope.

First of all she needs adequate treatment- is she under the local CMHT? or seeing a therapist?

Secondly you can set house rules for what is and is not acceptable.

Thirdly make sure your daughter knows that you're both facing the BPD together and that you are not the enemy here.

Is she getting psychiatric support? If not then a referral might be a good idea. I have bpd and I know it can be difficult for family/ partners etc.

I guess what I meant to say was the person receiving support can be beneficial to those around them. Are there any support groups around for relatives/ carers of those with a mental illness? The group I attended in my old city carers came too and they found it very helpful because they could ask questions from those with bpd. I know I'm probably being totally unhelpful but I want to be of help!

Hi, I guess any advice depends on the degree of support, if any, she has from mental health services, who may be able also to advise on support for carers - or if she is not under any service perhaps she needs to ask for a referral.

I work in mental health services, and a peer worker who has experienced BPD from both sides (has had this diagnosis but now works with others) spoke about the importance of validating and recognising emotions people are having, even if they may seem extreme - which I though was quite helpful.
Also, some of the work with people with BPD involves building a toolkit of sorts of ways of coping with emotions - this can be things like self soothing/ mindfulness which could be worth looking into.

Trouble I found is everything takes a long time. I have been receiving psychiatric support for four years and I'm only just going to begin therapy in the next few months. I have found medication very helpful in that it helps me to function as normally as possible but the therapy will help me to develop more coping strategies and recognise my triggers better. Me getting support benefits my fiancé and I am lucky as he is very supportive and somehow seems to be able to deal with me when I am going through a bad patch.