How do you cope with/live with depression?

[Playingcatch]

I have realised it’s always going to be a part of my life. I just wondered what coping strategies people who live with depression have? I think I have been on every anti depressant going and none of them work. So I am looking for other ideas.

I try to get out every day, even just for an hour. The fresh air and exercise do lift your mood a little even if it's the last thing I feel like doing.

Always get dressed. Even if it's just a wash and then into clean PJs. Not washing or changing is a slippery slope.

I go for physio/massage weekly. It helps manage my spinal pain and I find the contact soothing. I also always see the same guy so it does mean that there is a social side to it, I have to actually interact or at least exchange banter with another person which is good for me even if I don't really feel like chatting.

How do you feel about reading a book? "Depression - The Way Out of Your Prison" by Dorothy Rowe - starts by describing how you may think and feel about your life now and goes on to explain very slowly and gently how to think (and therefore feel) differently about your life and about happiness, so that the escape from depression creeps up on you almost unawares! I have known people to never, ever suffer from depression again after reading it. And some had had some very troubled lives and difficult experiences beforehand. It is an easy read and the first few chapters are the ones which really make a difference. It also deals with how to deal with difficult experiences from the past. Good luck!

Hi, I have a list of things that help me. I've taken antidepressants and although they've helped at the time, I realise it's probably going to be a long term thing and I'm trying to help myself. Here are my go-to ideas:

Go outside and walk/exercise, even if it's just a trip to the local shop or supermarket. Moving and fresh air are natural mood-lifters.

Be friendly and smile at people when you're out. Sometimes just a quick chat with a checkout person whilst shopping can be uplifting and social contact is important, however small.

Be creative ... make something to sell on eBay, or start a blog, or paint/draw.

Volunteer ... helping others is a natural boost and takes your mind off yourself for a while and gives a sense of purpose.

Pet - I have a dog, who is endlessly happy and forces me to get out and about every day.

Read a really good book - (one of my favourites).

Pamper yourself - even if it's just a bubble bath with candles etc.

Join a group (I haven't managed this yet as I struggle with social anxiety, but I will make myself one day!)

Hope this helps xx

Exercise- outside if possible.
Planning ahead- book haircuts, visiting friends, races, theatre trips etc waaaaay in advance so that if a bad period comes along you've already got stuff organised, and sometimes it's just easier to go along with it rather than bail out.
accept that bad times will happen and plan for them. It's ok to have a ready meal if you can't cook. Or watch crappy telly cos you can't read.I have a list of things to do if I feel like crap as it can be difficult to think whilst depressed.
Have a crisis plan if necessary.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I will try that book. I really appreciate your ideas. One minute I can be ok then the bottom just drops out of my mood and I want to be dead. I am so tired of feeling this way. I just don’t want to feel so bad. I’ve volunteered. Joined support groups, book clubs, worked hard at arranging meet ups with people, watch movies, read books, write, seen a life coach, kept a gratitude journal, an alternative therapist who did something with crystals, done courses. I don’t think people would think I feel so wretched. I cut myself to take away the emotional pain that I feel. Do you think for some people life really is just too much and they will never be happy?

accepting every emotion passes. if you have got this far you must have had terrible days / weeks but then come out of it and had good times before going in depressed state again. so i found recognising that I was slipping into the "dark place" was just something that sometimes happens. during which i practice all the self care as mentioned above (massage, or buy myself something nice or have a facial etc) but rather than fight the feeling,just accept that it will pass in a few days again. I think happy people still have the terrible days, they just are able to not let them be all consuming.

Thank you shape

I came on here to post the exact same thing. I'm exhausted and depressed. Struggling to do much at the moment as I'm just so tired but it feels like a vicious cycle.

Following with interest and I hope using some of these suggestions from PP helps you OP

It’s tough isn’t it poesy I have ordered the book suggested and gone to bed. I keep crying. But I will have to get up and make everyone’s tea soon. I honestly think if I didn’t have dcs I would be dead. I hope the suggestions help you too.

Agre with Shapeshifter - when it hits you treat it like a short illness that will pass, like a stomach bug or cold. This is the way I’ve managed to not feel consumed, by just knowing in a few days it will be better again xxx

But what about when it doesn't pass in a few days @JillyC8?

Then I suppose it’s a problem that needs professional help?

I’ve had 20 years of counselling off and on and it hasn’t worked Jilly Taken every pill ever invented and it always comes back. Poesy I go for months and months and months feeling depressed then start to feel suicidal then I can wake one morning and it’s gone. Nothing has changed it’s just gone but it always comes back. I have started reading the book recommended by Iwouldnever.

I was advised that hormonal changes are to blame and for me I think that may be a contributing factor. Also I've been on my own with my two children for 12 years so I also think that doesn't help. But no desire at all to go out on dates etc so kind of stuck with myself!

But lots of people are single parents and don’t suffer from depression? that book I mentioned which arrived says about some people’s reaction to adversity why some become depressed by situations when others don’t. If it’s hormone changes can they give you some kind of hormone replacement? I am going back to the doctors next week. I feel like I’m just being left and this is no way to live. I would have honesty ended my life if I didn’t have dcs. I’m so tired of feeling this shit so often.

Evergreen are you a single parent?

I also have clinical depression and it can feel like I'm depressed for months at times.Try to be gentle with yourself- it's the same as any other illness that needs to be treated.

1.Therapy. I started twice a week for close to two years now it's one session every other week.
2.Accept my low days. Doing small things that make me feel better. Getting into bed under a soft blanket and lighting scented candles and watching a TV show.
3, Regular meals.
4.Gym- even if I don't really want to I make myself go a minimum three times a week.

@JillyC8 I too have tried counselling medications, counselling, different kinds of therapy. The medication helps a little but only in that it regulates my sleep preventing me from sinking further into depression.

@Orangecake123 you've given some really good suggestions.

Jilly I hope you didn’t take that as a negative comment I made. I really didn’t mean it that way. Yes I have been a single parent. What I was trying to say is maybe depression isn’t about what happens to us but how we process it. I seem to see life through a veil of sadness. I’ve always been like that. I’m really sorry if you felt I was judging or not being supportive I didn’t mean it that way. This thread has brought together some really brave people who keep on going even if they rather wouldn’t.

Really need a thread like this.
I'm Going to get that book as sounds really, really helpful.
If it wasn't for my children I genuinely don't think I would go on. On the other hand I find being with them on my own a lot really depressing.
Know I should make myself go out when I feel like this but sometimes just don't have the energy.

Evergreen - not at all, I was just trying to understand your situation so I could perhaps relate. Does your partner understand what you're going through or is it something you try to cover up? I wish I could offer some useful suggestions but you do sound as though you're doing everything you can.

Diet - our junk food diets can make depression worse. The brain is very nutrient hungry. Mindfulness helps too.

Oh I am glad Jilly the trouble with MN is sometimes what you mean can be misunderstood! He works 7 days a week he leaves the house before I wake up and comes home and falls asleep. He is very stressed with his work. But we have been together a long time and he knows I struggle. I haven’t worked since my Mum, Dad and brother died and he’s supportive in that. I think he’s lost in what to do really. He’s just not very available but I think I am hard to live with. Maybe he’s just pretending to be asleep in the evenings to avoid talking to me 😉 I do really try to help myself the trouble is no matter what I do nothing gets better for long. How are you doing ?

Evergreen, you've obviously experienced terrible losses :-(. I can't imagine how hard that must be. And with your partner - do you think you could try some form of joint counselling so he could help you and be more available?
My ex worked all the time and honestly I sometimes felt more isolated in the relationship than I have since being alone. I have spells where I'm in a black hole and when I come out of it several days later, I kind of feel tired and drained, as though I've had a physical illness. Anti depressants really helped, but I'm trying to deal with it myself and haven't taken them for a long time.
Also, I found out a few years ago that I was severely anaemic and also had thyroid issues, so it as helped a lot to get back on track with those issues, as I believe they were part of the problem. Is that something you've had checked? I'm just trying to think of other possible contributory factors...

No he wouldn’t want to go to counselling. He tries his best with the work thing but it hard. I am just really starting to struggle to find a reason to stay alive.