Is this anxiety?

[Kml95]

So I haven't previously suffered from anxiety, but I am on amitriptyline for aura migraines and have been for about 2- 3 months.
I was the happiest I have ever been, and everything in life is going the way I wanted, things are going well for me. I was really enjoying life.
Until about a week ago.
It was a normal evening, nothing different had happened.
I was bathing my son, and i had taken him out the bath and wrapped him in his towel and giving him a cuddle holding him close to me. When I suddenly started thinking I can't imagine ever being without you, which some how led me on to think about dieing and imagining what happens when I die and how I can't imagine not being here.
My hands starting shaking, I felt sick, I was hot and prickly with sweat, gasping for breath and crying and had to ring my mum to come over because couldn't get myself right..
In the end I was fine, thought it was all over.
But since then it keeps coming back I feel sick to my stomach and and a horrible feeling of panic all the time, like something awful is going to happen. I go light headed and my heart speeds up.
Now it's effecting my sleeping too, I woke up like this in the night and couldn't calm down.
I have never felt like this before and don't know how to stop it. I'm worried all the time, I'm worried people know I'm worried.
Sometimes it's as if the world isn't real and I get this awful feeling I can't explain.
I find myself increasingly thinking about death and imagining being dead and I can't stop myself. I'm thinking about it so much I can't live my life. I'm constantly filled with dread. I'm exhausted. I don't even want to move or do anything half the time, I'm a single mum of a toddler and feel like I'm failing right now.
What is this and why has it suddenly happened. Has anyone else had this, does it go?

It does sound very much like anxiety. I have suffered anxiety since being a young child. Mine has never gone away but i have learnt to live with it. Am not saying yours won't go away as some peoples does. If it persists you xan always speak to your gp about therpy to help hope you feel better soon

Thank you for your reply, I was thinking about going to the GP but just worried I won't be able to explain or I wont be taken seriously

Might be a side effect of the drugs?

Your gp will definately take you seriously and just try and explain best you can and explain to them that its difficult to put in words.

I think the way forward is going to the GP and see what they say, just can't carry on like this, I've started getting intrusive thoughts when I'm panicking because I don't have any way of coping with it.
It could be a side effect of the medication, I'm wondering if it would take this long to happen though. But it's strange how it just started so suddenly. I guess I wont know until I go to the GP.
What do other people do when their panicking?

Good luck with gp.
I tend to focus on my breathing when panicking breath in for 5 put for 5 to gain control again.

It sounds like a panic attack. My anxiety disorder was brought on by hormonal changes. How old is your son?

I don’t have any help to offer but just wanted to say that since I had my daughter I’ve felt the exact same way. When I feel like that I try and distract myself reading, cleaning, doing my hobbie can bring it back under control.

My son is 2 years now, and I am 23.
Since he was sleeping in his own room around 7 months, I have always had a 'routine' I felt I needed to do to keep him safe.
This consists of touching the monitor,checking each window, listening and feeling him take 5 breaths, giving him four kisses and pushing the safety gate to his room four times and I do this every time I pass his room. It used to bother me, did a course of CBT for it, but it hasn't bothered me in ages.
I have never had anxiety like this though, or a panic attack. It all seems to be around the thought of dieing.
I will try some of those things to distract myself, thank you all.

Goosedown...... Amitriptyline doesn't cause panic attacks. It is an antidepressant. It cannot and does not alter hormones.

It does sound like a panic attack. See your doctor. I was on Citalopram (for years) for depression, but after so many years, it didn't seem to be having any effect on me. I had a massive anxiety attack 2 weeks ago, and the doctor has now put me on Mirtazapine (instead of Citalopram), which is definitely helping

Goosedown, what you have experienced sounds exactly like what I'm going through.
Managed to just about put my son to bed and since have been under a blanket in the sofa, feeling sick, shaking trying to concentrate on the TV and dreading having to try and sleep soon. I just wish I could stop feeling like this and not be thinking of death all the time it's so horrible can't even describe.
It's good to hear you have started to feel a bit better, and I really hope you get completely better soon. I know how horrible it is.
Not sure about the OCD part, i don't know much about it. It's interesting you mention things have been building up for you and you may have been depressed, I think this could definitely be linked to the panic attacks.
I have had a similar situation before experiencing this. I didn't realise, and thought I was dealing with things well.
But in May my long term partner and father of my son became unwell and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, he had a breakdown, and I guess I thought he would get better and come home. I was stressed going up and down the hospital daily, and looking after a toddler. And then my partner became increasingly violent due to his psychosis and I had to split with him to keep our son safe. He carried on coming to the house and one time smashed my letter box and broke in whilst we were at home which was one of many horrible events.
I ended up having to go through a massive court process and get multiple orders out to protect us from the person who used to look after us, and I'm having to move house for safety reasons too so it's confusing.
The night I had the panic attack I had been in court that day regarding my son, and so maybe all this could have triggered it and I hadn't even notice? I felt like I had dealt with it?
I hope things keep improving for you, your message has given me hope. Stay strong

By the looks of things the amitryptaline can't cause the anxiety and panic attacks, but I do worry it will make it hard to put me on medication for the panic attack/anxiety as I think it interacts with alot. And it's the first thing that's helped me with the migraines!