Teenage dd self harming how to help

[Alfiemoon1]

Please don’t flame me
Dd 17 is generally a good sensible girl doing her a levels and has a part time job can be moody and over dramatic
I noticed a cut on her arm and asked why the compass was by her bed she fobbed me off

I know she has issues with her friendship group sometimes feels excluded or they pick on her dd is sensitive so I presumed she couldn’t take a joke or suggested she found new friends it all seemed quite petty when she explained it to me fancying the same boys

In an attempt to find out what is making her so unhappy I read her diary don’t shoot me she admits to cutting it’s all very negative she hates herself for something she has done??? How rumours about her aren’t true she going to try and be a better person

How do I approach this? Obviously I can’t say I read her diary as I want her to be able to write down her feelings

We did have once incident where she didn’t come home after a party she said she couldn’t get in so stayed at her friends house her dress was soaked it wasn’t raining and she has obviously got drunk and couldn’t remember why turns out her and a friend got in the shower??? I explained the dangers of getting that drunk calmly as I thought we had an ok relationship where we could talk

How do I help her when she won’t tell me what’s going on. I am tempted to message her friend to see if she can shed some light on what’s really going on

I tried to talk to her today offered to get her counselling take her to the gp but she insists she’s fine. I asked about the compass and she says it’s just there she isn’t self harming. She’s just stressed with school work apparently. She does seem happier this week and her friends seem to be being nice to her. Dd can be a bit sensitive and immature about things sometimes and there is one friend who seems to put dd down to boost her own self esteem. Eg they are naturally very different builds dd is a petite size 8 size 4 feet friend has size 9 feet much stockier and will criticise dd outfit or make up when they go out And others join in but if dd says anything back this friend cries on dd shoulder that she has depression etc and then dd is seen as being mean. I thought by 17 all this drama would of stopped

I won’t contact her friend as I don’t want dd to not think she can confide in her.

Thanks for the reply

I agree with Schwitters , be very careful not to be too controlling she is an adult in reality and has total control over her life. Its her choice my daughter self harmed for a while in her teens , we were lucky enough to afford private counselling which here in Yorks is about £60 an hour with an expert. Although our GP practice now offers it free with a short waiting list.
My advice is talk to your GP, talk to MIND and CALM
as she is under 18 you should get priority. Be very firm with your GP about needing help and follow up any referrals carefully. You do not say where you are in the UK but Mental Health is very patchy.You need to keep a watching brief to make sure she gets the help . Good luck