My mother in law

[pachyderms]

Hi, I'm looking for some opinions on my mother in law's mental health. Both my husband and I are worried about her, and feel there are some issues. If we had some idea if she is suffering from some kind of disorder, we could then work out ways to help and support her.

So for example, she is very manic. Can't sit still for a meal - she has to be up and getting things for people the whole time. She is only happy if she is trying to make other people happy, but even then, she will worry that they are not happy, or that she's done something wrong.

She has started to say slightly inappropriate things in front of the kids. Nothing major, but just things that she wouldn't have said a few years ago. So for example, she was telling my 6 year old, how when she was born, some people thought the name we had chosen for her was awful and ridiculous (it is a normal name!). Or she'll talk about the Kavanagh case and sexual abuse while my younger kids are in the room - previously she would have kept that conversation adult-only. She'll also use more swear words than she ever would have a couple of years ago.

She is slightly inappropriate around strangers. Making conversation with anyone and standing too close to them. I know it just sounds friendly, but it is more than that, and I can tell they are often uncomfortable.

She also struggles with my 14 year old DDs (normal and fairly tame) teenage behaviour. She just can't cope with any kind of conflict. She has mental illness in her family (brothers) and she seems to think that my DD might be following their footsteps. We feel like we are walking on eggshells if there is any behaviour from the kids that is less than perfect, and she seems tramautised. She's always hated conflict, but it's got much worse (her reaction).

She is a lovely woman, and very kind and thoughtful. I thought it may be early signs of dementia, but I don't think the symptoms fit. I'm not explaining it very well, and written down, it doesn't sounds so bad, but I'd be grateful if anyone has any ideas, as we are worried about her and her increased lack of social awareness.

Thanks in advance.

Sympathy. Realistically, the only way to deal with this is to encourage her to see a GP. It could be a sign of something, but that something could be dementia, or a mental illness, or an infection (which can affect behaviour sometimes), or maybe nothing at all. You need a qualified person to look into it really. Best wishes

Thank you JamPasty. I know you are right about the GP but after watching her siblings suffer from mental illness, she has been paranoid about getting ill, even years ago when she was fine. I am worried about how she will react if we suggest it - she won't be angry but she'll be terrified. But I agree, I think we are going to have to bite the bullet and talk to her about it.

How old is she? It sound like she is becoming ill. It might be a mental health issue or could be something else.
I know it's an odd question- did she ever drink heavily in the past?

Thanks for your reply Theworldisfullofgs.
She's 72. No, she has never drunk much alcohol.

Sorry just seen your update. I asked because my fil had something similar but was caused by drinking.

I agree in that I'd try to get her to see the GP if you haven't already. It must be worrying.

FIL was similar, his issues were caused by drinking excessively however.

I'd get her to the GP - set of bloods and urine done.....need to check for a UTI, thyroid etc. Request a mental health assessment - might mean a CT and MRI scan. Reassure her that lots and lots can be done with a diagnosis, access to drugs etc. What's the short term memory like? Can she say what month / season it is? Good luck OP. We've been through this. Getting the diagnostics asap is essential. Don't delay is my advice.