Hi everyone. First post. Not even sure if I'm in the right place.
I'm at my whits end. I have been seeing a lady for nearly 4 months. We have met each other's children. She has things at mine. We booked a holiday together etc etc. We had told our exes and both were fine. We had keys to each other's house and everything was going great.
She is on fluoxetine for an eating disorder. She has a cleaning ocd. She also has celiac disease. She told me from the begin inning she has a heart like a swinging brick. She told me she is hard work but told me to bear with her as when she says something she means it. One of the hi lights was her nearly telling me she missed me. She has a challenging 4 yr old and she is 45. She is also the seconadry guardian to her 2 yr old nephew. Her 70 yr old father is primary guardian so no doubt she will shortly be responsible for the 2 yr old soon as well.
In addition to this it was the one year anniversary of her brothers death from cancer. She has also had several other traumas in the past month with a mother being admitted to hospital and a son running away. As well as a daughter moving out to her dads which wasn't handled well
The week before we broke up we were at a wedding reception. Joking about getting married ourselves. She told friends how lucky was to have me and that I was a keeper. Someone took a lovely photo of us and posted online. I have been single some time and was over the moon as this was the first official relationship. She was happy too and all our mutual friends commented on how great we were together. Her ex saw it and clearly wasn't happy. He fell out with her to the extent they don't talk. This really upset her. I told her I would be worried if it didn't upset her. The following weekend she was supposed to tell the ex about the holiday. On the weds she said everything was fine, it wasn't my fault and thanks for being so supportive. On Friday we made love and she fell asleep in my arms. Then on Sunday she ended it apsaying she didn't see a long term future for us.
She told me she was having hot flushes, migraines, knots in her stomach etc etc. Classic anxiety symptoms. Her doctor said she may be going through the menopause. She said when she ended it she felt relief. I have read elsewhere that anxiety attaches itself to the most important thing in their life and tries to destroy it
We have had several conversations since and she is adamant it would have happened at some point and won't change her mind. Female friends say she is feeling under pressure and although she meant it at the time she may not now.
I really don't know what to do. Do I leave her alone? Do I contact her? I don't want to push her away but at the same time I'm not sure she will contact me on her own after what she has said.
I love her to bits and think she is one of the strongest, most caring women I have ever met. She doesn't believe me when I tell her she is the most beautiful woman I have ever met inside and out.
What should I do as this is affecting me now. I feel anxious and awful. I don't want to lose her but I fear I already have.