My 22 year old

[Eloisedublin123]

My son Is very low. Left college, went to New Zealand last year for a year, came back after 5 weeks alone and broke, moved back home, then bought a yacht to live on (borrowed money from me) then sold it after 6 months last month. Cue announcement he’s going to Australia for a year at Christmas. (He’s working by the way). He’s now back in the house, sleeping with my 7 year old in her bottom bunk, and very low. He’s a grown man, yes, but he’s still my boy. He cried this morning that he felt so lost and so low. What to do? Tia

Sorry to hear this OP. I have three young boys so I don't have any advice but wanted to bump this for you.

Every sympathy for you and your son. I have DCs in their twenties and one, your DS's age, does get very, very anxious.

Would your son engage with some kind of talking therapy (if he's off at Christmas, he should get in quickly with a self-referral or ask his GP for one - usually the local mental health services have something along these lines). Diet - worth a blood test to see what he may be low on?

For under 25s: The Mix www.themix.org.uk/get-support and for men of any age, CALM: www.thecalmzone.net/about-calm/what-is-calm/

Does he have a longer term goal? Can you work with him to establish some steps towards it? Or he is still working that out?

WIth my DCs, it's small steps all the way - but we get there. It's great your son has you. Take care of yourself, too - I learnt, after far too long, that this is just as important.

Thank you very much. I went out with him this evening and had a chat with him and we agreed as a first step: visit to doc for blood tests (and he has haemachromatisis so this is def worth checking), vitamins like fish oils and magnesium and he said he will come to yoga with me. That’s a good outcome for one day. Thanks a million again x

That is a good outcome - well done to you both. Interesting what you say about magnesium, Eloise. I've read that magnesium deficiency can be a biomarker for chronic stress. I need to think about this re one of my DSs. Thank you for raising it!

Wishing all of you very well. You sound like a very lovely family.

There’s no rush, let him decide. You can give your opinion and try to guide him/ suggest

He needs to check his iron levels ? Is he on medication? As he doesn’t need iron overload. Does he have blood taken from him? To keep his iron levels under control.

Thanks a million for the kind words. He was diagnosed with the excess iron - the haemachromatosis - can’t spell it! In his teenage years but has done nothing further (refused to). Yes, I know it’s serious, no he wouldn’t take it seriously till now. I have been asking him to go and have blood tests for about 2 years now. He’s ageeed to blood tests now, I bet his iron is too high, which makes him very tired, and exacerbates the whole thing too x