What kind of anxiety?

[Olivesandwine]

I’ve been looking for some self help information on line to try and do something about my anxiety and I don’t seem to fit the classic descriptions of health or general anxiety.

The definitions are as follows:

General anxiety = constant worry about everything, what ifs etc.
Well I do worry about stuff but not everything, I can live my life, work, look after family and all that. But sometimes I do worry excessively about certain things, react badly to certain information and news which might affect myself and family. Eg worry about dd travelling abroad, ds’s illness affecting his uni studies. Other random things that come and go.

Health anxiety = constantly worrying about having a serious illness or an obsessive preoccupation with being seriously ill.
Well I’m not constantly worrying about being seriously ill. However, when I have proper physical symptoms which do not resolve over a reasonable period of time, then I become obsessed with them. Eg I am currently having bladder issues which have been ongoing for a couple of months, slowly improving I might add, and also a change in bowel habit, nothing alarming tbh, which seems to be ok now. But I have been totally preoccupied with these things. Constantly googling and looking for reassurance.

I have big chunks of time, often many months when I am fine. Then something happens that sets me off again stressing. I might add that I have not had trouble with health anxiety for many years until now.

What is this? What’s wrong with me? I always have a reason when I am anxious, it’s never seems to be for no reason at all. Then when it’s over, I’m back to normal.

Anyone ideas?

I'm no expert but I have very similar anxiety to you OP. It comes and goes. I can get disproportionately stressed over small thing. I do sometimes suffer from health anxiety about three years ago I was convinced I was seriously ill and would not stop going back to the doctors. In the end they sent me for tests as I had all these symptoms (some could have been imaginary) which finally calmed me down.
Even though I don't constantly have these anxieties I would say I suffer from health and general anxiety. For me you don't have to always have the symptoms to have the disease/illness. Many physical illness for example people with arthritis are not necessarily always in pain with it.

Thanks Stingray. Are you on any medication?
I can't even admit to my gp that I'm suffering at the moment. I know it will pass but in the meantime I could really do with something to just calm me down.

I was on antidepressants for about 12 months. I actually feel they really helped me when I was on them I sort of learnt how to deal with things a little better/or at least put them to the back of my mind. I was worried when I slowly came off them I would go back to square one but I don't think I have. I do still over worry but I can (sometimes) handle it better. Having said that recent events in my life have caused my anxiety to grow again and I do suspect that one day I will go back on them.
I know it's hard but if you do feel like your not coping please visit your GP. I remember going to my GP with my DH and I just burst into tears as soon as I got in the room. I was so embarrassed but it was then that I realised how much I needed help. Even DH was shocked as he didn't realised how bad it was.

I have been on meds a few times for short periods, when I was rock bottom tbh, and the last time was about 7 years ago after an unfortunate event in my life. I'm not sure they helped that much, but I suppose they did to some extent because I wasn't crying all the time, but I still worried about the situation a lot. The situation eventually got sorted and I calmed down and came off the meds.

I'm at the docs tomorrow about my health problems and should perhaps mention the anxiety but I just can't. I have had telephone CBT which I self referred for but it was rubbish because I just didn't engage and felt patronised. Lots of reading from a script from the "therapist".
Its a shame because the idea of changing how you think is excellent but I don't believe I can do it.

Sorry I do go on a bit! Feel better discussing things though

I agree with you on the cbt I had some sessions a good few years ago and found it no help.
It is so hard to change your mindset. Even now that I think I am better than I was and can sometimes put things to the back of my mind. I still have a lot of bad days/weeks.
I'm glad talking about it has made you feel better and I do hope you have family/friends who you can talk to

Thank you.
Its difficult talking about this stuff in RL.
I don't want to burden people/family with my worries and I don't want to come across as pathetic. I know some of my anxieties are ridiculous and I'm a bit ashamed of myself for worrying about stuff that probably never going to happen. Other people are dealing with a lot more than me and seem to manage.
I don't really talk to dh about it any more. He's had to put up with this for so many years I think he's a bit exasperated with it all.
So I keep it bottled up. There's such a stigma attached to this and I shouldn't feel ashamed, but I do.

Well you can get reactive depression I think. Where you become depressed due to an actual situation like a bereavement or loss of some kind. So your mind is reacting to that?
So I suppose you could have reactive anxiety because of health symptoms? And once the symptoms go, then so does your anxiety.
I'm not sure how this fits in with generalised anxiety.
Just some ideas I've had as I do get anxiety in waves as you mention which also stops me taking medication because I think oh I'll just be fine in a few weeks. Doesn't stop me suffering though.

And I get the being ashamed thing too. Anyone looking at me would never know what turmoil is going on as I pretend I'm good. After all what have I got to worry about.